Posts Tagged With: People

Leaders who do things right…or wrong

One of the most important relationships in our lives — that between the manager and the managed.

I will use the word `boss’ rather than `leader,’ `manager,’ or `supervisor’ (although all are bosses) because it implies an authority figure that has direct and frequent contact with subordinates – and who is responsible for personally directing and evaluating their work.

We are living through a period of tremendous change in the workplace and the world alike. It takes us online, gives us advice on how to dress for success, and reiterates how to present our ideas effectively.

I see leadership as a craft; something personal. We all want our team to think we are a good boss, right? We all also want to get perfect results and please our own boss, right? Why does it seem so hard to do one, not at the expense of the other?

Growing up we all had interactions with one leader or another. The way leaders lead in the past is different than how we have to lead today. Our teams are a hybrid of physical and virtual and figuring out how to effectively lead is a challenge all while maintaining our own “style”. For example, growing up my old leaders were not tech savvy – facebook, twitter and instagram didn’t mean much or were not invented. But in today’s world social media is everywhere. From Generation X to the new Millennial generation, we need to understand the importance of how each generation thinks, plans, and finally leads in their professional life – goal setting, preparation and finding ones strengths in the fields that one will become leaders in.

However, often we are in dilemma I bet many other like me face…

There is a generational difference in attitude and expectations and this will inevitably affect leadership style. The old ways are certainly dated and the old school values of individual responsibility and self-reliance are not as ingrained in a connected generation more focused on cooperation and group work. This is not inherently a good or bad thing, but a change that is best acknowledged and accommodated for.

For some reason, when a capable employee who seems to get along with fellow employees becomes “the boss”, something usually happens with how they interact with those same employees; and that “something” usually isn’t good. Welcome to corporate world, where a good two-thirds of its employees don’t like their jobs, primarily because they don’t like their bosses. In the business world, however, everyone agrees that having a “good boss” is highly preferable to having a “bad boss.”

I am not capable to talk about the leadership theory, but I believe that I can balance it with pragmatic lens on the real world. This is a fundamentally optimistic point of view: it is saying that we can all improve, that we are all working prototypes capable of learning and getting better.

However defined, a “boss” by nature is given or somehow obtains at least some degree of control of and – yes – responsibility for others, for better or worse “when performing essential chores like taking charge, making wise decisions, and turning talk into action. They are pounding themselves and their people so hard for short term results of any kind that they have forgotten how to get the best out of them. They have never needed peak levels of creativity, engagement, and risk-taking by their very best people.

A mark of being a good boss is that people don’t notice what you are doing, but are merely aware of that things are going well. And for bad boss, people tend to notice only where they are spectacularly bad and miss most of the components and contributing factors. I believe that they should understand human nature and knows what you should do, shouldn’t do and not be foolish enough to do just because, for a moment in time Mr Boss, you have got the power to get away with a temporary cover up.

Whose resonance not only made you laugh but also made you wonder what you were thinking by getting into organizational life in the first place? In reality, bosses are rarely good all around or bad all around, but instead some kind of a mix.

Well, I’m getting close to my word limit (self imposed) or I could go on and on. Hopefully I have succeeded in whetting your appetite.

Categories: Muddled Thoughts, Relationship, Work/ Career | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Omnivert: A misunderstood personality!

Pardon me if I sound like Phoebe from Friends :)(:

Disclaimer: Following questions were created while searching for characteristics of an Introvert and Extrovert as part of my training program. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Do you:

  • Need time alone to recharge their batteries
  • Spend a day at home alone with tea and a stack of novels/magazines, this sort of down time feels necessary
  • Shy away from the spotlight
  • Want the aisle seat or the back seat.
  • Resort to zoning out after you have been out and about for too long
  • Rather be an expert at one thing than try to do everything
  • Enjoy talking when you are mentally prepared
  • Exhibit increased brain activity when processing visual information and often have a keen eye for detail
  • Think first and talk later leading yourself to appear wise to others
  • Tend to have lower blood pressure than their extroverted counterparts
  • Large parties just aren’t your thing
  • More interested in ideas and the big picture rather than facts and details
  • Often better at communicating in writing than in person
  • Solitude is a value to be alone with their thoughts
  • easily distracted
  • Innate handicap in self promotion
  • Small talk-phobic
  • At a party, most introverts would rather spend time with people they already know and feel comfortable around

Mostly Yes: Introvert; Mostly No: Extrovert; Equal Yes or No: Omnivert, a little of both

I am a little of both with a tiny tilt of being an extrovert. I am extremely extroverted around introverts and very much Insecureintroverted among extroverts. However, being an Omnivert remains a frequently misunderstood personality trait. As someone who is “modal”, I often feel misunderstood by both introverts and extroverts. Besides my time at work, about half of the time I am all by myself reading, blogging, flipping through channels or simply being creative. The remaining half of the time I am socializing – trekking, enjoying a gig or a dinner with friends. Thus, it is funny to hear comments such as “She needs to get out and have fun with people more often”  and from others “She is a such a talker, making friends so easily.” Neither can see the whole ME as being complex and multi-faceted. The whole “Don’t you have a life?” line of thinking assumes that just because I don’t spend all my weekends at social gatherings, I must be leading a boring life and “Need to get out more often.” (my single-status plays a role in this too). I feel like agreeing and opposing at the same time. Who could not agree to more balance between both types of “verts” – introverts and extroverts? Just like the wheel that makes noise gets the grease, a quieter voice out there has something vital to say! Balance, as always, is important 🙂

I was appalled to know that students in Germany are graded on how much they talk in class throughout schooling (or at least in the later years). I have personally never been in a system that grades “participation,” but the thought of it makes me highly uneasy. Solitude is a value of mine but I relish the casual interaction with others, even strangers, yet do not want to spend hours in discussion.

One of the problems of extrovert dominated world is that emotions dominate reason. Too often introverts are also thought to be shy and/or lacking in confidence. This may or may not be the case. If I am introvert, I still find people to talk to, sooner or later. It’s not about being afraid to socialize or having no social skills. I enjoy social engagement but I do require some time to myself, to walk or read, in order to recharge myself. So this makes me an extrovert too. But some are not lucky enough. One must realize that either of the characteristic is not a problem. Its not black and white, its grey. Not better – just different for not conforming to the popularly accepted standard.

I am not insinuating that extroverts are not modest. That is as wrong as to say that introverts are intelligent. Those are prejudices. There are more roles in the world than certain strains of creativity and leadership, and saying that introverts do indeed fill certain roles well is not in any way saying that extroverts fill no roles better than introverts. Each serves different purposes.

Just as a bow and arrow, we need both the bow and the arrow to be a functional weapon. Wondering if the weapon was first invented by an Extrovert, “Hey, look what I can do? It flies far and kills deer fast!” and most likely refined by an Introvert “There, now that the arrow is streamlined, it will fly farther and faster!” Makes me think just how many more inventions have been created by one side, refined by the other, for use by both. However, seeing the bow and arrow analogy in reverse – invented by the contemplative introvert and marketed by the extrovert.

Here’s a toast to the generation of Renaissance men and women capable of being thoughtful loners who go off to explore ideas and learn skills, but then come out and fearlessly share themselves with the world through every aspect of human creativity and self-expression. I wonder what impact technology and social media has on this. So much “socializing” and exchange of ideas now takes place in a more introvert-inclined environment – sitting quietly in front of a screen. For example: I am writing this post alone on my laptop. I am feeling comfortable sharing my thoughts and allowing my mind to wander than if I were physically present.

So what are you my dear friend, an innie or an outie or a little of both, just like me?

Categories: General | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Can you solve Rubik’s cube while juggling?!!

Remember when figuring out the Rubik’s Cube alone was enough to classify you as a genius…then these are geniuses from another planet!!! Watch them and be amazed. Mindbogglingly impressive…

Warning: Watching these videos might make your head and at the same time will cause dizziness.

As impressive as this was, following one will make your eyes pop!!!

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Pause and be amazed…

Often I am so busy with my life and what happening in it, I forget to pay attention to the stories of others and to the world around me. Everyone is living 27 hours a day, and we tend to rush through our lives without consideration of what the implications are. It behooves us to slow down and take the time to let others know, at the very least, that their efforts are appreciated.

God is doing amazing work everywhere. We forget the quiet miracles that take place each day: the birth of a baby, a beautiful sunset, a feeling of joy in the midst of overwhelming circumstances.

Being in awe of God over these “small” miracles prepares our heart to experience even more amazing things from God. Let’s pause for a while and observe how God amazed others, and add those amazing events to our own list. I believe that the more we look for evidence of God’s work, the more amazed we will be.

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Categories: Inspiring | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment


Although the book ‘I am Malala’ was published nearly an year back but I happen to read it now. It is an encouraging memoir of Malala Yousufzai, a product of a mother and a father‘s love inspite of the backwards, barbaric, ignorant, deceitful culture of Pakistan. Her book shows different facets of a girl since her childhood days which captivates, inspires entices you in a story of true events that can only be imagined. The book describes public floggings by the Taliban, their ban on television, dancing and music and shopping. There are numerous situations which gave me goose-bumps and often led me to imagine it. You might want to listen to her CNN interview to appreciate her brilliance, her tolerance and love for her country, despite being stalked by poverty and hardships.


Malala: Person of the Year

Fearless Malala anonymously blogged Diary of a Pakistani school girl under a pseudonym for BBC, writing about her daily battle with extremist militants who used fear and intimidation to force girls to stay at home thus drawing the Islamist militants’ rage. She never lost hopes nor gave up on her dreams of education. She refused to cower in the face of threats and fought for education (not just for girls but particularly for girls) that she stared death in the face in 2012 when a Taliban gunman shot point-blank in the head on her way home from school in Pakistan. Not the sacrifice of rights, but the sacrifice of life. Her “crime”: advocating girls’ right to education.

But Malala survived!! This young fearless Pakistani girl escaped from the jaws of death – nothing short of a miracle.

Like father-like daughter, she embodies the very values that the civilized world craves for. She stood up to terror and showed a reasoned mind seldom seen at her age. She is a symbol of freedom, bravery, outspokenness and beacon of light for all girls/women in this world.

Excerpt from Malala’s heartening U.N. speech:

Even if there was a gun in my hand and he was standing in front of me, 
I would not shoot him. This is the compassion I have learned from Mohamed, 
the prophet of mercy, Jesus Christ and Lord Buddha. This the legacy of 
change I have inherited from Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela and 
Mohammed Ali Jinnah. This is the philosophy of nonviolence that I have 
learned from Gandhi, Bacha Khan and Mother Teresa. And this is the 
forgiveness that I have learned from my father and from my mother. 
This is what my soul is telling me: be peaceful and love everyone.

The book follows her journey from near-death to global fame. She is one of seven people featured on the cover of Time magazine’s 100 most influential people edition. She has been honored with Sakharov Prize for Freedom of Thought, XXV International Prize of Catalonia award, International Children’s Peace Prize, Amnesty International Ambassador of Conscience Award (The award is Amnesty International’s highest honor, recognizing individuals who have promoted and enhanced the cause of human rights), Leadership in Civil Society award, Peter J. Gomes Humanitarian Award and Person of the Year.

This young girl, stood against a powerful foe for the education of the next generation. She stands for all the young people in lands where oppression puts them and all young people down.  This young girl stands for peace, freedom and education for all. She is passing her courage on to others. Her courage has awoken Pakistan’s government who says to be adopting new measures to get every child into school by end 2015.

After reading her book, my attention turned towards my country India. Quite a few million girls in India have gone missing in 3 generations through practices like infanticide, feticide, dowry, bride trafficking and honor killings. It is immoral, illegal, against all civilized norms, against the principles of most religions. I strongly urge people to spread awareness of a girl’s right to be born, to let live, to be educated and a lead a life that she dreams of.

It’s time for the parents and the children themselves to demand their right to school. Education should no longer be a slogan but a reality.

Categories: Books, Inspiring | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments



Categories: General | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sometimes we just need to be reminded…

… the world is not all that bad!!

by =projectTiGER on deviantART

Categories: General | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What’s a mom worth?



Categories: General | Tags: , , , , , | 3 Comments

Pay It Forward..

When I was a little girl, my grandmother) used to tell me that good deeds were the building blocks of a good life. I didn’t completely understand these riddles then, but now I do and I am very much in agreement with it.

The movie Pay it Forward is a good example of this sentiment. As the storyline goes, a little boy starts a cycle of extending help to three people and then each one of them returns the favor to three more people. In the film, people’s lives are changed dramatically after they receive help, and then they go on to do a similar good deed for others.

There is no doubt that this cycle of doing good helps to create a better world. Good deeds and paying it forward are ways to seed or plant seeds of goodwill that will grow and bear fruit down the road. One of the best things about seeding is that it makes us feel good. Doing a thoughtful deed for someone else opens our heart and fills it with warmth. We don’t have to be rich or powerful to plant seeds of kindness. All it takes is a willingness to look out for opportunities to help others.

We can start with just simple things, such as a smile for the harried grocery sales man or holding the door for someone. Or we can take it a step further and offer help to people in need. Perhaps someone we know could use a heart-to-heart discussion or an elderly person in our neighborhood needs help shopping or repairing something in the home. Spend a little time thinking about it, and I am sure some ideas will pop into our head.

We can consider volunteering some time on a regular basis to benefit a specific group, such as children, older people, or the community in general. It doesn’t really matter so much how we seed kindnesses as long as we are looking for opportunities to do so and then take advantage of them when we see the need.

In the process of doing good for others, even if it is something small, we improve the lives of others, build better relationships and even improve our own lives. It’s a win-win situation!!!

Categories: General | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

An Affair With Chocolate!!!

Know what’s better than a shrink? A best friend? A self-help book? A pedicure?—Chocolate. These delicious companions, sent straight from the heavens have been a constant source of instant joys and small pleasures throughout that time of bleakness, which didn’t seem to end. Here are my favourite kinds of chocolate, which have walked along the way with me.

Tiny round chocolate balls that would slightly stain the finger as I popped them into the mouth, when I walked aimlessly down winding streets, furiously, planning the ‘what next’ in my life.

Licking the wrapper of a just-melted chocolate bar, clean. More comforting than dusting the room and definitely more pleasurable.

The tub of chocolate ice cream, which was rescued from the freezer to go along with the 3 am can’t-sleep-because-I-am-suddenly-so-terrified-by-this-adult-life panic attack. After an hour, the fears subside and the ice cream vanishes, the stomach is now happy and sleep comes snuggling along.

The ones whose centres are filled with alcohol. Shots of happiness, especially on dry days. And cry days.

Getting up to a yawning Sunday and looking at the miserable certainty of nothing to do. Then, suddenly, impulsively deciding to bake a chocolate cake. Home delivery of ingredients, internet recipes, some loud music and off-tune singing-whisking. Soon, the air gets a warm, fuzzy glow. It’s impossible to feel down when the house smells of cake. Tip: Save the batter bowl to be licked at night.

The sticky jaw toffees of distraction. Pop one in and spend hours getting it out of your teeth with your tongue. Trust me, it’s a way better occupation than revisiting why you said ‘Yes’ to the Ex that first time.

The warm donut with the chocolate slightly melted. As bites paint my cheeks and lips brown and I chew sugared softness, the sadness feels sweeter.

When the friend comes over for a good cry about my life, hot chocolate to cheer her up. Tell her it’s okay, I will get better and I am glad she is there to cry for me.

The imported ones sent by aunts, uncles, cousins who still think of me as that little girl they left behind, when they caught the first flight to go ‘abroad’. Smoother, creamier, richer, decadent, these gift package come via air mail when they hear of trouble. And yes, it does frighten the blues away, even if it’s just for a few minutes at a time.

A guarantee of a small treat at the end of what would be a horrible day. The feel of it coming with me, the promise of better thing, soon.

The brownie whose centre is warm and bursting with gooey, chewy chocolate. It’s called the million dollar brownie and on some days I know it is worth a lot more.

The chocolate love affairs. May they never end.

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