Posts Tagged With: Musings

Conquer 

Women CAN and DO dream, achieve, inspire, celebrate, EXIST, LIVE, ENJOY around the world. And they do all this without any assistance from men.

This post is for all those who think men are superior than women. The truth is simple. Apart from them being biologically different from one another, and leaving physical attributes aside, there is ABSOLUTELY NO DIFFERENCE in the way they think, act, react or what they can do. 

They’re equal. They’re independent, they’re strong, they’re very aware of their surroundings and they’re not ready to be bogged down by regressive ideologies. The world would cease to exist if any one of them would cease to exist, then how can we not treat them equally?

Women command respect JUST like men, and they WILL get that respect. NOT just on this day. 

Let’s pledge to give everyone equal respect, equal opportunities to grow and prosper, so that the world grows as one unit and conquers as one unit.

And irrespective of these hindrances & many more. Some of us still conquer. Imagine what we could do if we had equal rights in society..!!

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Need to look in the mirror again..

2 months into our marriage:

Despite all the love and longing-ness to be together soon, we didn’t realize how common the bickering will become, and we still haven’t started staying together. We might wonder if we did the right thing. It won’t always be easy and you’ll occasionally question your judgment…but it won’t take you long to get your answer. It’s a very fleeting doubt and just spending time in the company of this human being you love unconditionally means that marriage was the best decision you ever made.

Recently, our fights are an outcome of my emotional turmoil (relocating to a new country) and his logical mind (Why would you say that? What did you mean by that? Why…?). I wish we both can meet midway when this happens. I beg and cry and do all sorts of unbecoming things to convince him to understand me emotionally. All I am losing is my self-respect.

I had vowed never to be that way again – never to put someone on a pedestal – never to be in a one – way relationship where I have to beg someone to understand me. But then, I have never loved someone like I love him.

If I don’t think I am worthy, it’s really hard to inspire my man to think so, much less dedicate his life to me.

Let’s look at this from the other side:

Will I be inspired by a man who is weak, needy, and insecure?
A man who needs constant attention?
A man who doesn’t trust that you love him?
A man who is convinced he is too good for me and that he is going to leave me for someone else?

Probably not. That man would be exhausting.

But isn’t that what love is all about? Knowing each others’ flaws and accepting them anyway?  Ultimately, the answer is yes. But in a budding relationship, it doesn’t matter how much you love each other; all that matters is whether you are both equally bought in.girl_with_mirror_by_nami86

The more he pulled away; the needier I got.  The needier I got, the less he wants me/ to be with me.

How could I prove myself to him? What could I do differently?

“Sorry” he said. “You may think whatever you want. Its your issue. You’re too anxious. Too difficult. Too emotional. Not secure.”

I need to find a way to express my needs without turning into doormats. The question is whether I believe in myself the way I should.

If not, I may need to look in the mirror again.

 

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Should we trust our “Cloud Nine” feelings??

Mr K and I started talking to each other in Oct 2015, and we had that instant recognition, mutually. Within 6 months – BOOM! we were married. Distance separates Mr K and I by thousand of miles and it will remain the same for few more (urghh…tedious visa process). Therefore, I chose to fly down to Mr K to be with him for a week (a romantic person – well, I am!!). Anyways, I just wanted to be beside him, next to him… It felt completely natural and normal to suddenly find the person I want to be with, to have a life and family with. Love and romance can blind us to all kinds of information. So glad I didn’t marry everyone I loved. At the risk of sounding dramatic, I didn’t want anyone else.

Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics.
It just comes — none knows whence —
and cannot explain itself.

~ Mark Twain Eve’s Diary

 I have known people who moved very fast and stayed happily committed for many years. I have known others who took it more slowly, where it seemed they were really getting to now each other, and still were not successful in the long run. We took a crucial decision of spending our life together ‘for better or for worse’ but as my wise man says that he knows he made the right choice (ah, I am on cloud nine! *blush*).

Some couples have only one person head-over-heels up-front, with the other person much more mildly or slowly growing interested. In our relationship, we are one or another in different situations. I love how we can balance each other despite that mild cultural difference. I know: It’s not romantic, but we seem to be in LOVE!love is

When two people feel the same level of love attraction to one another, a relationship can be rewarding and unstressed. But sometimes, one person or the other feels much stronger attraction than the other does. And that can be uncomfortable to even painful for both individuals, eventually. And then we pick on petty stupid stuff on which we laugh later.

Sounds to me as if it’s the way it’s “supposed to” work, as long as we stipulate that there is no such thing as how it’s “supposed to” work. A lifetime isn’t made up of just this week or the past few weeks — and a future life will need plenty of time to unfurl its petals so you can see it. There’s no guarantee that we will know each other completely in a year or in many years or not at all, but when chemicals and hormones will wear off, we will have a better ability to see things as they are.

Dear Mr. K, it won’t always be easy and we will occasionally question our judgment but as we will get along together, we will see more and more aspects of each other, and I am sure we will fall in love more. Why do I know so? 10 years back we spoke for a bit –  so you see we had won the “lottery” a long, long time ago, but instead of checking our numbers, we just kept buying more tickets. (You know what I mean ;-))

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Give another chance, can you?

Whilst I am trying to keep things light around because I am in the happiest phase of my life, sometimes things like relationships becomes a weighty subject.

Like it did for a dear friend of mine – let me call her Annie.

After a string of dates with a series of losers, players, flakes and bores, her next foray into the dating world led her to the classic selfish jerk. She meets a promising man. He’s employed. He’s interesting. He’s passionate about the world around him. He says he wants to get married one day. He seems normal – you know how hard it is to find a normal guy.

But life turned around for her soon enough. He put her down and manipulated her every chance he got. Being inexperienced, she assumed this was normal. Her confidence plummeted, and even after discovering his infidelity few times she didn’t have the courage to break it off with him. She even moved to a different country to be with this man. Basically, she tried everything (Love is blind for many). She didn’t think she was doing anything wrong, and didn’t feel she deserved any better.

In one of their parties, her man’s best friend forced himself onto her. Next day, she confided in her man as he was the only person she really knew who would understand and support her during her emotional distress.

Instead of supporting, he laughed at her. This ignorant “man” told her she “was only good for sex anyway.”

Tragically, part of her believed him.

It’s easy to see why Annie is now terrified of relationships. Even when she meets a guy that seems nice, she rules them out fearing he’s another jerk. She’s wounded and in her own words, “cynical.”

We know intellectually that not every man is as bad as the ones we have encountered. It would be a huge mistake to blame each new guy for the sins of the men in our past.

Nonetheless, moving on is not as easy as snapping our fingers and putting trauma such as infidelity and emotional cruelty behind us. Our experiences are very real, very painful, and they are bound to shade our whole view of the world.

We need to remind ourselvesJust please don’t let them determine it.

Yes, easier said than done!

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Cycle of miscommunication..!!

Most couples discover the happiness and intimacy in the early days of their courtship but being 4562 miles away creates a wedge between us and I don’t know how to break the patterns of behavior that were causing the problem. Mr. K always said “There is going to be distance. Deal with it.” But I was unable to and even now.

The worst and most difficult part are our arguments or rather tiffs. Suddenly, all those old fears come back once again.

“What did I do wrong?”
“How can I fix this?”
“Should I call him? Text him? Ignore him?”
“How can I get him back? ”

When our arguments happen in person, there is some sort of physical comfort, some way to look each other in the eyes and hug the other person to calm down. This isn’t always the case miles away so in many ways it definitely is more difficult.

After many huffs and puffs, I assessed that our ‘culturally’ different communication styles and infrequent communication patterns were creating a wedge between us which Mr K was unable to understand, and I was seeing our intimate and supportive relationship turning into one of loneliness, disinterest or contempt. I got the feeling that due to the frequent tiffs, he was trying to escape from any sort of conflict. Probably, he doesn’t deal with emotions as openly as I do hence its often (read: always) seems that I am complaining, unhappy or needy or demanding sympathy. I never knew such adjectives can be associated with me (but hey, marriage is a mirror to self!)

Being in a long distance marriage, Mr. K and I tried really hard to dodge any sort of arguments (but have not succeeded so far). Arguments are triggered by me as I am told while his anger is a manifestation of those in his defense.

All I want us to understand and learn in this miscommunication cycle is: If we start to argue over something, we take a step back and determine if it’s something really worth arguing over. 95% of the time, it’s just something stupid and we have to move on.

It’s not sustaining the love that’s tough, it’s getting through the normal bumps when we are oceans apart. So far we have developed communication skills and habits that will help us misunderstand/misinterpret a little less and are growing stronger and more mature in the process. But there is a call for sanity, a breath of fresh air to remind me to stop beating myself up each time it doesn’t work out as intended. Its simple – Just like one cant do the right thing with the wrong person, one can’t do the wrong thing with the right one.

Distance doesn’t makes me tired. Life does. Uff, the big, bad world of Long Distance Relationship. And establishing a long-distance relationship is tough, I am not going to lie.

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Long distance…

I have never, never, never ever been in a long distance relationship. So when we met and later committed to each other, I never realized the emotional-coaster ride I am putting myself into. I anticipated the initial long distance, being in different countries but never factored that his job will still keep him away even if I cross the oceans to be in the same country as him. As we start to plan our wedding, I never realized that I will act crazy and stupid to blow up my relationship with him. I already get the feeling that I have pushed him away and made him distant despite the distance…:(

All I want from him is to:

1. Randomly clue me in. Share with me what he is thinking when I am not probing him for information, tell me about his thoughts and dreams, make me believe I am worthy of his secret thoughts.

2. Give me a call or drop me a text when he is out with his friends/ colleagues or far away for work (if network permits) to let me know that I am on his mind even when we are apart. Not out of sight, out of mind. Not because I feel insecure, but because I am missing his presence.

3. Maintain contact when out together. Yes, PDA – not the sloppy kinds but holding hands, peck on the cheek. Catch my eye from across the room we are out together at a party, let me know that I am beautiful among all in the room.

4. Let me know that he notices my appearance, give me surprise compliments, make it clear he appreciates me . (OK, he does it..)

5. Tell me that he loves me – not misusing or over-using it but each time he means it. There is a power in receiving a good-morning and a good-night. With him a few hours behind in the time zone, I would love too do so but I might come across as someone who doesn’t act her age (37!)

I understand that I don’t always need him to be a “we” or an “us” you’re a YOU! Be that YOU! But being 9 hours flight distance away from him, 5.3 hours behind him and missing his presence around me, I am giving him an image of a partner who is insane and emotionally needy. I am as much surprised as him.

If any one is or have been in a long distance relationship, help me validate my feelings/needs.

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Loving you is easy…

And if I asked you to name all the things that you love,

how long would it take for you to name yourself?

~Anonymous

Pause and read it aloud!

IT MAKES SENSE.

Our behaviors and beliefs have prevented us from loving ourselves. As humans we are built to think that there are thousands of reasons for not loving ourselves. Every person has one, or one hundred, it seems. We’re too fat or too thin. We cry too easily or not at all. We’re not good enough, pretty enough, tall enough, powerful enough, brave enough or interesting enough – the many ways we sabotage our own goodness. We convince ourselves that we don’t deserve the lives we desire. We do not feel validated to express what we need in life and tend to be unhappy. I think for many of us, it’s difficult to realize how easy it is to fall into a spiral of self-hate.

That was me – few years back, wondering all the time what the hell was wrong with me and why I can’t seem to get off this “cycle”. I considered self-love as a selfish act. But then my dad told me “Treating yourself well is not something you should feel guilty for, it should be the way you live your life.” (Ding!!) Something so simple, yet it eludes many of us.

Often we go outside looking for love instead of going within and loving one’s self which is where the joy of life can begin. I believe the key idea is “Take care of yourself first, before taking care of others” and I do mean the whole sentence as the definition of self love.

Ironically most people seek to be loved by another without ever trying to love themselves. Many relationships are about feeling valuable because someone else, also imperfect, loves you but without them you are nothing.

The hardest path to love is that when it is ourself…being the love of your own life. Learning to accept and value ‘self’ is one of the hardest things we will ever do. I don’t think that we can ever fully eliminate self-criticism. I also think that self love is one of the most important things to develop – rather than being ego based or self indulgent it is an act of survival. After all, the way we treat ourself sets the standard for the way others will treat us.

It made me realize I didn’t have to be a perfect person to love myself, and the best part of loving ourselves is that it teaches us to accept ourselves as to what we are. We all hold the key to enjoying each day with sunshine streaming out of every pore of our body.

Sometimes the advice we seek is the common sense we already have, yet we are always ‘just’ seeking someone else’s validation.

Let’s begin a journey to self love…something that is foreign to most of us.

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Leaders who do things right…or wrong

One of the most important relationships in our lives — that between the manager and the managed.

I will use the word `boss’ rather than `leader,’ `manager,’ or `supervisor’ (although all are bosses) because it implies an authority figure that has direct and frequent contact with subordinates – and who is responsible for personally directing and evaluating their work.

We are living through a period of tremendous change in the workplace and the world alike. It takes us online, gives us advice on how to dress for success, and reiterates how to present our ideas effectively.

I see leadership as a craft; something personal. We all want our team to think we are a good boss, right? We all also want to get perfect results and please our own boss, right? Why does it seem so hard to do one, not at the expense of the other?

Growing up we all had interactions with one leader or another. The way leaders lead in the past is different than how we have to lead today. Our teams are a hybrid of physical and virtual and figuring out how to effectively lead is a challenge all while maintaining our own “style”. For example, growing up my old leaders were not tech savvy – facebook, twitter and instagram didn’t mean much or were not invented. But in today’s world social media is everywhere. From Generation X to the new Millennial generation, we need to understand the importance of how each generation thinks, plans, and finally leads in their professional life – goal setting, preparation and finding ones strengths in the fields that one will become leaders in.

However, often we are in dilemma I bet many other like me face…

There is a generational difference in attitude and expectations and this will inevitably affect leadership style. The old ways are certainly dated and the old school values of individual responsibility and self-reliance are not as ingrained in a connected generation more focused on cooperation and group work. This is not inherently a good or bad thing, but a change that is best acknowledged and accommodated for.

For some reason, when a capable employee who seems to get along with fellow employees becomes “the boss”, something usually happens with how they interact with those same employees; and that “something” usually isn’t good. Welcome to corporate world, where a good two-thirds of its employees don’t like their jobs, primarily because they don’t like their bosses. In the business world, however, everyone agrees that having a “good boss” is highly preferable to having a “bad boss.”

I am not capable to talk about the leadership theory, but I believe that I can balance it with pragmatic lens on the real world. This is a fundamentally optimistic point of view: it is saying that we can all improve, that we are all working prototypes capable of learning and getting better.

However defined, a “boss” by nature is given or somehow obtains at least some degree of control of and – yes – responsibility for others, for better or worse “when performing essential chores like taking charge, making wise decisions, and turning talk into action. They are pounding themselves and their people so hard for short term results of any kind that they have forgotten how to get the best out of them. They have never needed peak levels of creativity, engagement, and risk-taking by their very best people.

A mark of being a good boss is that people don’t notice what you are doing, but are merely aware of that things are going well. And for bad boss, people tend to notice only where they are spectacularly bad and miss most of the components and contributing factors. I believe that they should understand human nature and knows what you should do, shouldn’t do and not be foolish enough to do just because, for a moment in time Mr Boss, you have got the power to get away with a temporary cover up.

Whose resonance not only made you laugh but also made you wonder what you were thinking by getting into organizational life in the first place? In reality, bosses are rarely good all around or bad all around, but instead some kind of a mix.

Well, I’m getting close to my word limit (self imposed) or I could go on and on. Hopefully I have succeeded in whetting your appetite.

Categories: Muddled Thoughts, Relationship, Work/ Career | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

In a relationship…

It’s troubling that there’s still an assumption that female single-hood is an inherently problematic state. For reasons that are utterly beyond me, everything leads to a pitiful sigh. Singletons are associated with various adjectives – lonely, boring, arrogant and picky. People make judgments based on our success, lifestyle and even opinions which according to them are reasons for “being single”. Surely, if they judge singletons so severely, I’m wondering if those individuals are trying to justify their own choices in life (being married, raising families, etc), and possibly some unhappiness with them. Is the world built for couples only where singles need not apply? Do whatever feels right for you. I know it’s hard to ignore the messages we are sent by society, as they are incessant and usually one-sided (i.e. to be considered a mature, responsible adult you must be married and have children), but if we understand that society as a whole is pretty conservative, and that most people will indeed comply with societal norms, we are then in a better position to see it for what it is, and to then take whatever life path truly feels right for us.

Am I really Single?

How can I be ALONE if I have friends/family around that will never leave me? Sure, I don’t have an intimate partner but I sometimes think intimacy is overrated. One can be alone in a crowded room, or at home with a spouse who is distant and uncommunicative. But I have always said I would rather be alone than wish I was! (You may have to think about that for a moment). However, I made many choices in my life that somehow put me away from my family and the society that I grew up with (I don’t mean in a brattish way but my college and job choices), and thankfully I don’t have to deal with “when will you settle down?” situation. Yes, it’s wonderful not to deal with it. As to the 21st century, we already have 7 billion people on this earth– it’s not like single people are causing the extinction of society or the human race!

Experience Life

If I make myself a nice dish or if I go down into the park alone to admire nature around me, is the experience lost? If something amuses me or stimulates me to think in a new way, in what sense is the experience lost? If I remember the event, clearly it is not lost. Even if I don’t remember the event, I lived the event: my body and mind were engaged in the world. However, society seem to be saying that Singletons have no existence unless some other person understands our experience. What is to be gained by subtracting private feelings and insights from our being?

Being Happy

The old better single/better married debate is never-ending and there is no better! You can be happy either way, or unhappy either way. And usually, at some points in our life we will be one, and other points we will be the other. Happiness is relative and highly personal. We all have to walk our own paths to happiness, not those based on societal prescriptions. 36 isn’t old, but it is old enough to question whether its worth starting a family. Hmmm…all I should do is enjoy every day, and not put pressure on myself for things that are beyond my control. Things will fall in place when it’s the right time and when God has planned for it. Oh yes, I have come to realized it off late…and my belief only becomes stronger. A failed engagement had left me charred – I was hypersensitive at times and sometimes these “times” were of indefinite duration. It’s better sooner rather than later as we accept and learn from our choices and our circumstances. And then it occurred to me (ting!!) – I’m glad it did, for otherwise I would have been a square peg trying to jam myself into a round hole, with all the anger and angst that entails. Everyone wants to be getting on the other side of the table and so was I. How about I sit and enjoy my side of the table until the table for two is seated with right person?

Indians are more driven with social norms and values where everything should conform to society’s expectation. As soon as we are born, every thing is pre-defined for us. I am yet to be anchored down by the spells of Cupid, the looks of Medussa, the agony of Romeo however every married friend of mine – male or female – shares their secret “I wish I was single” or leaves a sigh “It sounds so nice, the freedom.”, not because they are unhappy in their marriage but because they forgot what it was to be happy by themselves.

A lot of people, married and single, harbor a fantasy of a perfect relationship with a perfect mate. Sadly, a lot of marriages end when one of the partners wakes from the dream and is unwilling or unable to accept the truth that relationships, especially marriage, take work, patience, and perseverance to last. I admit that I can’t and don’t plan to keep this trajectory but I am in no rush and in a happy phase with myself – enjoying life as I should be. I think when it’s time to settle with someone, when you feel you are with a person you truly love and can happily live with together, sharing and compromising, your heart then will settle naturally, without an effort. I know few ‘un’happily married people in age 40+ to know that “settling” earlier is often a bad idea. I also know a number of happy couples who didn’t meet until they were older. It happens that way sometimes, and it doesn’t mean there’s anything “wrong” with either person.

Self-Acceptance

I personally believe this one life is best enjoyed w/ someone to share moments with. However, it can be scary to look around and see ourselves different from our couple friends. Yet this is what makes us special; our implicit, silent yet firm rebellion against social norms make us of a distinct character. Women particularly should realize that they are not defined by their relationships but ultimately how they feel about themselves. We often mock self-esteem but for well-being, it is crucial. The ability to NOT settle for something untrue to oneself requires more intellect, strength and insight.

Comfortable being “Alone”

When and if, I find a person, one that is comfortable doing things with me and doing things by himself may be a good pick. I admire my girlfriends’ relationships with their husbands, but I am in awe of what they can do independently as well. A woman never knows when she can count on her independence – it’s not a bad thing, indeed. But a woman never knows when she can count on her partner – that’s not a bad thing either.

Remember, there is a big difference between feeling alone and enjoying your solitude. Those who are content in solitude are fortunate indeed. So many people still feel it is scary to see yourself different from peers? What about all the social changes through the decades? Hasn’t there been a big increase in singles, and much later age of marriage? As for divorce–I am not suggesting that it is a GOOD thing but let’s admit that the ratio has increased. That implies that people have the freedom to find some happiness in life. When divorce was frowned upon (rather still is considered as a taboo) people had to adjust, or have marriage in name only, for the sake of the children. I believe, if women can support themselves they will marry for love and compatibility. The great advance in gender equality means there is more chance for good relationships based on mutual respect.

Living our Dream

Married people romanticize being single, and single people romanticize marriage. Not everyone believes being married with children, house and white picket fence is “living the dream,” I may dare say that, at times, the thought is even boring. Getting married is a part of circle of life and not the whole life. Until then, break down your “wants/needs” and play with the combination of bittersweet and earnest longing to “be who you are” and have an upbeat view of the future without fitting into a well-defined plan. There are many ways to be engaged with life – Social cause, learning to dance, go back-packing, etc. when you feel like it. Life, love, food, travel, hobbies can be shared with a variety of people. One does not need a mate in order to have a sense of sharing in life, or to have love.

Feel our feelings

Singletons being neurotic and nasty??? Well, I cry at weddings. I almost burst with love when my friend described his joy at seeing his baby born. My parents might have a different opinion on how young adults view relationships as good or bad as a function of whether it benefits them or fits the template that they have fashioned for themselves. Growing up with my grandparents and parents, I have seen how relationships were nurtured amidst the chaotic lifestyle. I learnt that relationships aren’t oases, magically discovered in the desert. Relationships are structures that are constructed over years, with much effort and deliberate action.

I love the idea of marriage, not blasting it, but living alone does have its perks. It can be annoying though, to have to deal with people’s consternation when they feel troubled by not knowing how to categorize you. This is an age-old debate – Both have benefits and challenges. It does not mean good or bad, it means different. Yet there’s always this terrified rush to justify and denigrate to quell insecurities. Relax, life is varied! People say that singletons in their 30s become choosy/picky. Of course we should be, cos we understand ourself much better than what we were in our 20s.

It’s easy to learn swimming when you are still a child. As an adult, you are scared to jump cos you know the depth which can drown you. Relationship is like a huge swimming pool where 2 people die in with no safety jacket. It’s said that “female freedom has an expiration  date” – but does that mean simply settling with someone. The question remains: Should YOU?

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Slave over a Stove!!

It really annoys me when people want to jump down my throat because I don’t do what they think I should. Cooking is one such art form for which I am always asked “Why don’t you cook for yourself?” – the question for which I am yet to master a response for it. I raise quite a few eyebrows when people learn that I have hired the services of a cook who does that for me. I cook or don’t cook based upon what works for me, individually. So, to each it’s own.

Indian society give a lot of emphasize for home-cooked meals – wait for it – prepared by women. Maybe cooking and cleaning was considered the “traditional wife role” in the 50’s but it’s 2014. Gender roles aren’t implicit, inherent things, they were created by society and I think that people are afraid to step out of them or just have simply grown up to think that way. Even in this century, when everyone seems to be talking about women empowerment, there are quite a few men who still reason out by saying cooking3My wife works but I pay most of the bills, so if I can’t get a hot meal every now then what am I getting out of this?” Really?? Ugghh! Do we now ever meet a woman nowadays who doesn’t work or want to work? Men sure don’t mind their partner bringing home a paycheck, but they do not hesitate to pull “traditional wife” trigger to force woman into the kitchen. Some men even don’t know how to fix a damn thing in the house so they pay someone to do it for them, and that’s considered totally fine. But a woman who won’t/maybe can’t cook and decide to pay someone for it, she is judged for her capabilities. If cooking skill should be used as some measure for spouse value, then admittedly, I would like a man who knows how to cook while I will clean, wash the dishes, and every thing else on the good wife list…

If all it took to get a ring was cooking skills then why are there so many single ladies who can cook up delicious meals? None of my male friends settled down because their girls cooked, but they settled down because they wanted to…with her! Simple as that! I know quite a few men who would prefer a wife with a career of her own to a wife staying at home cooking dinner.

Lucky me, my family never suffered from ‘gender-role’ syndrome. Besides few  of my cousins who tried every trick on their plate to  get me to learn cooking but I seem to have been born with a magnetic chip which repels me from the kitchen. And when I did enter – over the stove, mixing ingredients, high, medium, or low * head starts to swim*. I will not blame them for being judgmental about me as they are experts in dishing out something slurp-I-ciously amazing with whatever lies in the fridge. Now this is talent and an art which I firmly believe one is born with!!

For me, cooking is a form of art. Some tend to appreciate it while some enjoy performing it everyday. For past so many years, my grandma and mom are enjoying the best tea I can vouch for in the world, prepared exclusively by my dad…every morning. Prior to my dad, it was my grandfather who did so thus starting the ritual. And this was timed well. As my grandmother would return from the temple and later sit in the balcony, hot tea would be served to all. Ah, such a romantic gesture which expressed love subtly but strongly! Anyways, I asked my dad if tea-making responsibility was asked from him, his answer was simple: “I love doing so for lovely ladies in my life” while he secretly enjoys the praises too!! 😉 This leaves me with a thought – although one might grow up assuming certain activities to be gender-specific, however its upon one’s own self to not accept and do in order to comply with society norms. Do what makes you happy even if it means taking up those activities which might make the other fall in love with you each time…like my mother as she sips her morning tea every day. Btw, both the ladies also get to have the luxury of enjoying dinner prepared by my dad…every Sunday.

Instead of dictating the traditional role each should play, it would be wonderful to learn to be the back up for each other so that once a while, either one of them is allowed a breather without being a slave over a stove. Until of course…

Categories: Muddled Thoughts | Tags: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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