Slave over a Stove!!

It really annoys me when people want to jump down my throat because I don’t do what they think I should. Cooking is one such art form for which I am always asked “Why don’t you cook for yourself?” – the question for which I am yet to master a response for it. I raise quite a few eyebrows when people learn that I have hired the services of a cook who does that for me. I cook or don’t cook based upon what works for me, individually. So, to each it’s own.

Indian society give a lot of emphasize for home-cooked meals – wait for it – prepared by women. Maybe cooking and cleaning was considered the “traditional wife role” in the 50’s but it’s 2014. Gender roles aren’t implicit, inherent things, they were created by society and I think that people are afraid to step out of them or just have simply grown up to think that way. Even in this century, when everyone seems to be talking about women empowerment, there are quite a few men who still reason out by saying “My wife works but I pay most of the bills, so if I can’t get a hot meal every now then what am I getting out of this?” Really?? Ugghh! Do we now ever meet a woman nowadays who doesn’t work or want to work? Men sure don’t mind their partner bringing home a paycheck, but they do not hesitate to pull “traditional wife” trigger to force woman into the kitchen. Some men even don’t know how to fix a damn thing in the house so they pay someone to do it for them, and that’s considered totally fine. But a woman who won’t/maybe can’t cook and decide to pay someone for it, she is judged for her capabilities. If cooking skill should be used as some measure for spouse value, then admittedly, I would like a man who knows how to cook while I will clean, wash the dishes, and every thing else on the good wife list…

If all it took to get a ring was cooking skills then why are there so many single ladies who can cook up delicious meals? None of my male friends settled down because their girls cooked, but they settled down because they wanted to…with her! Simple as that! I know quite a few men who would prefer a wife with a career of her own to a wife staying at home cooking dinner.

Lucky me, my family never suffered from ‘gender-role’ syndrome. Besides few  of my cousins who tried every trick on their plate to  get me to learn cooking but I seem to have been born with a magnetic chip which repels me from the kitchen. And when I did enter – over the stove, mixing ingredients, high, medium, or low * head starts to swim*. I will not blame them for being judgmental about me as they are experts in dishing out something slurp-I-ciously amazing with whatever lies in the fridge. Now this is talent and an art which I firmly believe one is born with!!

For me, cooking is a form of art. Some tend to appreciate it while some enjoy performing it everyday. For past so many years, my grandma and mom are enjoying the best tea I can vouch for in the world, prepared exclusively by my dad…every morning. Prior to my dad, it was my grandfather who did so thus starting the ritual. And this was timed well. As my grandmother would return from the temple and later sit in the balcony, hot tea would be served to all. Ah, such a romantic gesture which expressed love subtly but strongly! Anyways, I asked my dad if tea-making responsibility was asked from him, his answer was simple: “I love doing so for lovely ladies in my life” while he secretly enjoys the praises too!! 😉 This leaves me with a thought – although one might grow up assuming certain activities to be gender-specific, however its upon one’s own self to not accept and do in order to comply with society norms. Do what makes you happy even if it means taking up those activities which might make the other fall in love with you each time…like my mother as she sips her morning tea every day. Btw, both the ladies also get to have the luxury of enjoying dinner prepared by my dad…every Sunday.

Instead of dictating the traditional role each should play, it would be wonderful to learn to be the back up for each other so that once a while, either one of them is allowed a breather without being a slave over a stove. Until of course…