Posts Tagged With: Anxiety

Anxiety is hopelessness..

Anxiety is thinking you have everything under control,It’s feeling like your on top of the mountain,
Today you can handle anything, today you will conquer it all,
It’s assuming that everything will be okay because it is,
It’s getting out of bed, taking a shower, getting dressed doing your makeup,

It’s being prepared to leave the house,

You practically skip to your car,
You get in, close the door, and you glance in the mirror,
Anxiety is the rapid and sudden loss of control,
You slipped and now your rapidly spiraling back down the mountain,
It’s smashing into a brick wall that goes on forever,
It’s a flip of a switch and it doesn’t always make sense,
..I was just okay..I am okay..
It’s waking up with your heart pounding your breathing rapid,
There’s a golf ball in your throat,
You can’t breathe around it,
It’s the shaking hands,
Can’t look anyone in the eyes,
Begging someone to come help,
But praying no one comes near you,
It’s a sudden reeling loss of control,
And you just don’t know what to do,
And there’s nothing anyone else can do,
It’s the tears you won’t let fall because they won’t help,
It’s begging god for a sedative. 
You are okay but you are absolutely not okay,
There is nothing okay about how you feel,
If you don’t have anxiety you cannot understand what it feels like to have absolutely no idea what to do,
Regulating your breathing but your fingers and toes are tingling.
A war in your head you don’t always understand.
You know you need to breathe in for four hold for seven out for six,
You know you need to breathe all the way in and in again,
You know it’s just a panic attack,
You know you are okay,
You know it will be okay,
But you don’t know what to do.
Anxiety is getting your breathing under control,
Regulating your heart rate,

Plastering on a smile,

And pretending everything is okay,
Even though there’s a thundercloud behind you that you just can’t escape.
Pretending you aren’t barely holding on, to what?
It is wanting to claw at your skin and crawl out of your body because there is no reason for things to be this overwhelming and wrong.
Anxiety is the pure joy of feeling like you have control,
And the depression of being thrown back to the sharks,
Constantly trying to balance your racing mind and react the way you should if you were okay,
It’s learning how to smile just right, laugh just so, tilt your head and nod like your listening but you just can’t focus,
It’s so desperately wanting to just be normal, 
It’s knowing you should be enjoying something but you just aren’t,
It’s choosing not to go out, not to get up, not to move forward.
It is your mind creating irrational fears of things you don’t need to fear,
Anxiety is hopelessness,
But it’s not hopeless.

Categories: Muddled Thoughts | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Letting go..

Not long ago but a few months back, I was struggling with a frustrating situation involving my workplace, and I felt helpless to do anything about it.  Unfortunately, I was having panic attacks because I was so anxious and fearful about the situation (Being in an organization for 6.5 years can cut you off from the outer world). I was unable to see my options, and as a result was trapped in an uncomfortable and unfortunate position.

Feeling trapped in a situation is a very common challenge we all face at various times. After all, we are creatures of habit, and even though we Let gomay claim we like change, when something threatens our status quo, it can feel more like the rug has been pulled out from under us rather than an opportunity for us to move ahead. I spent time thinking about what was most important to me in my current work position.

I considered how much joy and comfort I was actually getting from my job in light of the current situation. Was it so important to me to remain in a situation that was causing me so much frustration?  Was it the only option I had? In asking these questions to myself, I had a specific intention. I wanted to look at what my job meant to me and to see if I should consider other options. Sometimes, when we examine our motivations, we begin to realize that they aren’t what we thought they were.

I am happy to report that a couple of weeks later, I had a new perspective. I concluded that my job wasn’t really the best thing for me, and started exploring other options that I wouldn’t have considered previously. I decided to look for another job doing something to challenge my capabilities. And interestingly enough, my panic attacks had disappeared and now I get “good” goosebumps when I face new challenges and learning new things.

As you can probably guess, I am now glad that the circumstances at my old job forced me to take stock of what I really wanted in life and to let go of a situation that was unhealthy for me. 

I look at my own life to see if there are aspects of it that are no longer serving me as I need them to. Then I would see how to alter them to suit my best interests. Now that’s a worthwhile goal for the this year!

Letting go isn’t always easy, but choosing to let go when you realize it is time can change your life for the better.

Let go1

Categories: Muddled Thoughts | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Life with horns!!

We can come to is that when we begin to enjoy great success in some area of our lives, we tend to create problems in that or another area of our lives. We do this because we hit our “upper limit” of happiness, financial success, joy in a relationship, or any of a number of other things, and this upper limit causes us to unconsciously sabotage ourselves or even make ourselves ill.

We often wonder how to remain calm and centered while things around us seem crazy and frustrating.  This isn’t surprising, as today’s lifestyle has become quite hectic and our fight-or-flight mechanisms are constantly being triggered by events in our lives.  The problem is that our bodies react to things like a sudden attack from a coworker in the same way they might have responded many millennia ago at being attacked by an animal—with a sudden burst of adrenaline and the confused thinking that comes from it.

There will always be periods when life is chaotic. Certainly at times things come at us from out of the blue and throw us off-course. However, regardless of the situation, there are things we can do to stay centered, calm and able to make better choices and decisions. Learning to be present in our body even while chaos is going on around us is the key to staying centered, and that is what we need to learn.

When we get an adrenaline rush from extreme stressors, we have a physical reaction that can muddle our thinking and cause us to be more likely to react in a way in which we have less control. When we hear the word meditation, we throw our hands up and say, “I can’t spend hours sitting on a pillow like a yogi.” My yoga instructor once told me – Stop for a moment, breathe slow and deep, and feel our body. Notice the feelings in our hands and feet, and as we continue to breathe, notice the feelings and sensations in our torso and head.  Connecting to our body in this way helps ground us and helps to attain a calmer, clearer state of mind.

Once we have grounded our body and have begun to calm our mind, we should try to stay in the present moment. I avoid scenarios that can run rampant in my head. This allows me to take stock of our situation and calmly decide if it is an issue I can control and/or do something about, or if it is something I need to accept as it is and let go of it. Either way, being present in my body and clear in my mind gives me a more solid feeing than just reacting from a fight-or-flight response.

The next time you find yourself feeling an adrenaline rush from an unexpected turn of events. breathe, be present in your body and try to stay in the moment in your mind. In spite of our flight-or-fight response, it will help you stay centered and respond to a situation rather than just react to it. You might be surprised that just three to five minutes of this per day is enough to make a big difference. And it is a handy tool for emergency use when sudden stress arises. Excusing yourself to the bathroom for three minutes is a way to sneak in some mind calming breathing without anyone ever being the wiser, and it can help you cope and make better decisions under pressure.

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