An Axe Ad in India caught my attention where a female sexy model is inviting Indian men for a boat party…without their mamma. Funny as it may sound but it rings a bell. I believe no only in India but all around the world, every man is a momma’s boy…just like every girl is daddy’s daughter. However, in India this is considered slightly demeaning. Say that to an Indian men, and you will see a strong gaze with an defensive response. Now, what’s so wrong in accepting it with a smile and a sense of pride? I accept that I am a daddy’s girl 😉
Men who talk about their mom, her upbringing and her caring – it’s totally wonderful as this shows the sensitive side of him. However, this term has a different definition in India. An ‘Indian’ Momma’s boy is considered someone who says and does whatever his mother says, without any rational. This characteristic gains prominence after the man is married and unintentionally starts comparing or expecting his wife to be and do like his mother. From a male’s perspective, I agree that this could be hard to decipher as obviously, they are used to a certain lifestyle defined by their mother and taken care unconditionally. With given time, most of the men understand and take this difference in their stride and extend support to their wife. However, this understanding remains decoded until his mother extend her support too.
The role of women has seen a sea of changes in the past few years but Indian society is yet to accept these changes. I am not talking about women empowerment here but domestication. Mothers are trying to cope up with the busy lifestyle of their children but still indicate how family life should be the priority of a girl. Indian men were not brought up to share domestic tasks such as laundry, cooking and cleaning. One of my girlfriend works the same hours as her husband, but when they return home from work, his mother gets a glass of water for his son. Yes, this still happens and we are astonished as our family treats daughter and daughter-in-law with the same attitude. Daughter-in-law is expected to ensure work-life balance – and oh! there is when there are no kids yet.
For generations, birth of a boy child sees celebrations as it indicates support system during their old age and give them their future generations. But its time when men should clearly express equal respect for their mother and partner. Both women are important in a men’s life but men needs to become a little more responsible in understanding unreasonable demands of his mother as that’s where the problems starts – competing with the woman who gave birth to him just isn’t an option.
When a mother is in the picture too much, it can make his woman feel like she isn’t doing a good job at keeping her man happy since he still has another “woman” doting on him. Yes, it is much difficult for a mother to let go her loving responsibility in another woman’s hand. Men should ensure that his partner is compassionate about it without making her settle to be second fiddle in his life. We are not talking about a miracle as new relationships take a while to grow. I have experienced this closely where my grandmother and mother went through this phase, but over the years the two lovely ladies are emotionally dependent on each other, which I believe makes my father jealous. But, I think my father played it strategically – neither a momma’s boy nor a wive’s slave. He was a neutral soul providing solace to both the ladies when they wanted to talk.