I believe it was Jewel who once sang that “it’s not having what you want but wanting what you have”. I know I can’t have it all and I don’t want it all. What I want is “all of it” and by that I mean to accept my situation and to live it to its fullest potential. Whatever your situation is then just own it. If you don’t like it then change it. No one else will for you.
Relationships, especially a romantic one, are like fingerprints, oh-so-uniquely different for the two people in it. It’s the blending of two very unique personalities. Both wants a happily ever after, well, a perfect union. But truly, relationships are work-in-progress. They are the everyday negotiations of a team of two plus whatever else you both bring into the equation – along with a multitude of things to manage in my life, including family, friends, obligations, personal projects and, believe it or not, a career. You need to wake up everyday saying “I’m still gonna negotiate this complicated, every-changing dynamic with you.”
So many couples I see nowadays have self-defeating ideas about how life should be run. A romantic relationship IS about trust, mutual understanding, and yes, letting the other person be in charge sometimes. We need to remember being in the moment and not to lose your sense of self. We all fall short at times and that’s okay, just pick yourself up and keep trying.
Do what makes you happy but remember it shouldn’t come last, it better come first so you have more to give! Yes, indeed, you have to stand up and take responsibility to do the things that will make you happy and for those of us that are lucky enough, to make our partners happy.
Nothing is easy, but it is worth the effort to just be in the game!!