When an attractive single woman is asked,”So why aren’t you married?”, there’s nothing wrong with asking me just that, but the “yet” implies that this is something I must do.” Oh My God, an ill-at-ease moments, I can’t even count how many times I have been asked that question. It’s always implied that there is something “wrong” with me because I chose to follow a different path. It is not that I never wanted to settle or still don’t. I broke up with my fiance after deciding that the marriage might not seem right. You can’t force chemistry. So many of my paired off friends try to talk me into liking a man when I just don’t feel that click. It’s there or it isn’t, and it’s so much more fun to date a man when it’s there.
My confidence in living the life I have always wanted, and I meant to have, is a blast of fresh air in a world full of stale stereotypes. But, we are a misunderstood lot for not taking the traditional routes some women choose. Almost any single person has been affected by myth and stigma. Supposedly we are misfits with empty lives, doomed to die alone, frustrated at never achieving the perfection of coupledom. Ah, the nuances of self-love without being narcissistic, self-confidence without being cocky, self-deprecating without being pitiable all while exhibiting common sense and incredibly delicious wit. I didn’t have to settle or be unhappy if I did indeed choose to be involved with someone. It doesn’t mean I have to marry someone I don’t love or I’m not attracted to because it’s “the thing to do.” Our culture is filled with prejudice against singles and it’s just not fair. Our culture has belittled any relationships other than marriage as unimportant when in fact, friendships and relationships with siblings are just as important and often longer lasting.
Living alone doesn’t mean being lonely. There’s an attitude shift that can occur that can make it possible to feel interconnected with everyone who passes through our lives. I want to take this time to learn guitar, sketch, write blogs, and travel to places. I have also come to appreciate that although I am not in a relationship right now, I can appreciate the male (and female) relationships I have in my life in a new way. I am happy, and my life is healing from the sores of insecurity and sadness that unhappy relationships can bring.
There is no right way to live your life BUT to all the fabulous single women – by choice or by circumstances – everywhere, Cheers!! Live it loud, live it proud and live it single if that’s what makes your boat float.