Wearing the Right Glasses

My prescription was -0.50 in both eyes but my hunt for finding the right glasses was worsening and was getting worse at about -.25 every year or so. Not only did I stop my eyes from getting worse, I reversed them, and I am now at a -7.25 prescription. I have plateaued at this level. Glasses did make the difference…the world certainly looks “much better!!”

Ah! There is so much more to this life than what meets the eye. But there are so many barriers in our head. We have these glasses in front of us and through them we look at people and situations, and we judge them according to what we see through those lenses. And not according to what it actually is.

Few months ago after going through a devastatingly painful relationship with someone who I “thought” loved me. I could never understand why people who loved me would always hurt me intentionally. Boom!! I realized that I had surrounded myself with emotional vampires almost my entire life, who sucked life out of me with their words and deeds.

We’re conditioned by society not to cry or raise our voices during distress (“Do not show your weak side to everyone” comes the advice). Every emotion has been frozen within us. I have actively started identifying emotional vampires in my life, and have started taking steps to create distance where necessary to protect myself. Some of these friends and family have been around since childhood and are used to me being in their lives a certain way! Negotiating new boundaries in old relationships is a challenging process – how do I protect my space without alienating myself entirely? Where does the word ‘compromise’, which is thrown around so much in any relationship which talks about long-term commitment, fit into the grand scheme of things? What if the people around us, our friends and family we love and hate in equal measure, are the poor souls who really need our help because they don’t know better and we are all they’ve got?

Most of the magic of the process is in the intention of the magician not the wand he uses. Suffering is due to negative emotional “energies” that have become “trapped” within us, most commonly around the heart, where they can create a wall that may block our ability freely to give and receive love.

We let ourselves be led around like sheep by our emotions. I am one of those people who has your buttons pushed more than you’d care to. emotional freedom is about choosing how your react emotionally instead of just having your buttons pushed to the max and getting angry and then dumping that anger on others.

I feel everything, sometimes to an extreme. On the positive side, this means I’m intuitive about other people’s thoughts and feelings, which makes it easy to relate to people and make friends. On the downside, I act as an emotional sponge, absorbing people’s negativity. I can be so sensitive to emotions. I have always thought of it as having no skin; you are laid open and completely vulnerable emotionally.

After a deep speculation on my emotional capabilities, my biggest suspicion was that my conscious thoughts would influence my results. But they didn’t. I assumed an emotion would be about a particular event, but my subconscious took me back to totally different memories. truly makes us face ourselves and our true feelings, about ourselves and others. Let us learn to forgive ourselves, love ourselves, and heal ourselves in places that we had forgotten about and levels that we cannot imagine.

I have dealt with my share of life’s downers – not many when I look at others around me. I thought I would handle my “stuff” and but seems to get tired of dealing with it. It is still there. It is important to deal with all of our emotions. No need to ignore them or label them good or bad – just a need to acknowledge them. I just agree to disagree about the past. I have set limits and let the less important details of the situation go (the past). I am trying to know exactly when is ‘enough’ of a particular point.

The tail no longer needs to wag the dog. I need to go beyond the emotional garbage that has made my life a toxic wasteland. I need to ease up on my expectations of people. I feel in a big way and tend to take on other people’s problems….I am not saying I am extra special or anything, but I do need help coping because people have the ability to suck me dry.

It doesn’t really do a suffering person much good to hear, “Let it go,” or “Confront the person from a place of center,” when the whole point is that the emotionally stuck person doesn’t know HOW to let it go or HOW to find their center in the midst of chaos. Duh!

Just like there’s no one-size-fits-all solution, there is no detailed road map out of our emotional traps. Similarly, I don’t always have a practical way of dealing with my situations. Sometimes, I find myself wanting to fast forward to the end to see just how I would deal with the situation.

Categories: Muddled Thoughts | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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