Nature understands no jesting; she is always true, always serious, always severe; she is always right, and the errors and faults are always those of man. The man incapable of appreciating her, she despises and only to the apt, the pure, and the true, does she resign herself and reveal her secrets. ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Ladies, we’re smart and successful in all aspects of our lives…well, except finding and keeping our knight in shining armor. Makes me wonder, are most clever career/intellectual single women emotionally autistic? With my intelligence wondering, why was/am I unable to attract the kind of men I want to date or to say “I Do”?
Self-realization tells me that I assumed guys would like my easy-going and self-reliant attitude. That is so wrong!! It just makes them think of me as one of the guys. They love watching games with me, going for concerts/movies/music shows, volunteering acts and talking about their girlfriend/dating problems with me. However, they never seem to want to date me (not that I want to date my male friends but dropping a hint that they would, would have given me the needed kick ;)).
I started observing women around me…friends who never had a vacuum in their relationship pattern. And I realized that I just needed to tweak a little of myself!
What I did – now, I have started wearing dresses (I didn’t much before because I didn’t like my thin legs) with right accessories and trying to my hair grow longer (so that I can make sexy hairdos). That certainly made me feel more feminine and the responses were immediate. I even let a male acquaintance order and pay my meal for me a very nice restaurant. Uhmm…truth is that I was very tired. I simply folded the menu and said, “I’m tired of making decisions today, could you please order for us?” He loved it. He told me a little later how much he loved that. He said he was really surprised by that because he always knew me as i-pay-for-myself-kind of girl. Who knew? I didn’t want to feel bad about how much money he was spending and didn’t want to analyze it to death.
You can get so much more than you expect if you’re willing to lay down your armor and be a teeny bit vulnerable. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t being a pushover or a chump – I was always protecting myself, my body and mind. And not only is it vital to understand my emotional needs, but I also need to be savvy about *who* I choose. That’s the key – the “being savvy” part. No more chasing after some dork who won’t commit, and no more wondering how to get who is right for me. Now I want to make my love life effortless! I am not looking for someone who looks good on a profile resume, but someone who provides real fulfillment in the form of great conversation, caring gestures and support. As Dr. Ali Binazir aptly says “fulfillment is a feeling, not a person.”
I have understood how important it is to be myself and that being authentic is so much more attractive. After all, every great relationship starts by being happy who you are outside of one…happiness comes from within…other people add to it and not make it.
I love who I am and no matter my eventual fate, I will always have myself to fall back on. Having a relationship doesn’t make me who I am. I wish to empower the Goddess within me. I don’t hide who I am, I am just learning to mellow out and allow myself to be soft and female. I am learning to love a man’s masculine charisma and relish how it compliments my feminine.
I know for fact mean, when I tweak myself for better, I attract better…whether that’s relationships, peace, work or money. Right?! 😉