Breastfeeding…

Women bodies are so sexualised that some people find breastfeeding in public obscene – A change of mindset is needed that breasts are primarily for feeding babies. Breast feeding is practised in rural areas as a way of life, even today. It’s considered stigma in urban areas. Lot of efforts are being made to create special areas for breast feeding in public places. A change of human mindset is needed.

Breastfeeding is a natural phenomena and Motherhood should be looked with grace and dignity

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Pay Gaps??

Thanks to Benedict Cumberbatch and all the other men who are leading by example to make the right change. But this both heartens and saddens me simultaneously. On the one hand, it’s great that Cumberbatch is taking a moral stand. On the other, it’s a disgrace that he has to do so, especially given the time that has elapsed between the beginnings of the fight for women’s rights led by Emily Pankhurst and Co in the UK and Carrie Chapman Catt in the US. How long does it really need to take for unconscious and conscious bias to change?

Surely paychecks are / should be based on an actor’s experience and market value bought to a production, irrespective of gender.

The right decision is made only when all factors are considered. I argue that if we want to reduce the gap between women and men, we need to start by finding more ways to incentivize or inspire women to design their career with a management focus. If we get more women qualified, then more women will be hired and promoted to management positions. As a result, the average pay for women will increase.

We can win this game only if we stand together, even when personal interest doesn’t agree.

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Fair is better..??

Anybody that grew up in the Indian Subcontinent, African country and SE Asian country especially as a woman, believed one thing: Being fair is better. The message has always been and continues to be that lighter skin means success in all realms of your life. The discrimination for darker skin is not just for what country you come from but what level in society you are a part of. It’s a perspective that should be changed.

Important to note: Dark skin people make up a majority of the planet! Seems odd that the international standard of beauty is light skin, huh?

Filmmaker Jess dela Merced made a fantastic film on colorism, fair is beautiful…called “Bleached“.

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A Pie in the Face.

“Since political correctness has become the norm in our society the normal man in the street has had a lot to be angry at.  The normal man in the street has found the life in which he lives in is beset on all sides. No longer allowed to voice an opinion or make an intelligent humorous joke  (to which he is entitled to do),  for if it offends anyone, ultimately opening himself up to possibly losing his job, online bullying, loss of the respect of his peers and in extreme cases physical abuse and confrontation. All justified because he is an “offender” and anyone who felt offended has rights that far outweigh the initial offending act.”

Read on kamsriv.wordpress.com/2020/07/09/a-pie-in-the-face/

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“Mind” your business

An old man was selling watermelons. His price list read: 1 for £2 and 3 for £8.

A young man stopped by and bought 3 watermelons one by one, paying £2 for each.

As the young man was walking away, he turned around and told the old man, “Hey, do you realize I just bought three watermelons for £6 instead of £8? May be business is not your thing.”

The old man smiled and mumbled to himself, “People are funny. Every time they buy three watermelons instead of one, yet they keep trying to teach me how to do business.”

Source: Random

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A beautiful reminder from God..

I complain: The laundry basket never stays empty.

God reminds: Your family never goes without clean clothes to wear.

I complain: I hate to cook.

God reminds: Your family never goes without food to eat.

I ask: Why can’t my kids chill out for 10 minutes?

God reminds: You have never seen the inside of a children’s hospital.

I say: There isn’t enough time to do everything I need to do, much less what I want to do.

God reminds: So few of these things did I ask of you.

I say: I look older reflected in my minivan window.

God reminds: Yes. I gave you these years.

I ask: Will I ever be enough?

God asks: For who?

I say: I keep messing up. I worry. I raise my voice. I forget how lucky I am.

God reminds: Luck has nothing do with it. Everything in your basket, I put there with purpose. And I never asked you to carry it alone.

Credit: Mama Dickinson: Musings Of A Daydreaming Mom

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My little “Lady” is home

Still shying away from new people yet loves to cuddle with the ones she knows. Loves belly rubs from Kam and definitely understands the word ‘food’. She is naturally curious, processes stimuli more quickly, and reacts faster than I can. She can expertly read my body language and clearly see my intended plan before I am even fully thinking of it. I am finding myself having to play a lot of ‘catch up’ if I can’t stay one step ahead of my intelligent, hyper-active puppy. I am acquiring proficiency in a new language as I learn the many subtle and not-to-subtle sounds – barks, whines, growls, yodels, and sounds I did not even know she could make. I have a new, nosy companion trying to ‘help’ me complete my chores, or even trying to do them for me! Every day is a new day with her.

Showing all signs of being the world obedient and well-mannered dog, I am keeping my fingers crossed and knocking on every wood to ensure she grows up like so 😍

Let me give my fur baby another cuddle before she soon grows up in a big dog and hugs me instead 🤪

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Does the shoes fit?

If you feel you’re knocking on closed doors, keep knocking. But only if they seem to have a window. At least make sure they would look out to see who’s there.

Then persist. For it’s a rare rock that doesn’t break by repeated hammering. Unless you’re not it’s weapon of choice.

Part of the beauty of this idea, this hypothesis of love, is its abstraction. Like water, it takes any shape, any form. Fills wherever it enters, empties whatever it leaves. Like it was never there.

For some, love is like a new idea in an artist’s mind. It takes shape in the head before it does for real on paper.

Sometimes the imagination is much better. At other times, you let go with the flow. Succumb and let your fingers take you to an ethereal creation. You stand back, breathless at what you’ve done.

Don’t be boggled by “what you thought” as opposed to “what it is”. The former will trap you, the later will let you know. And maybe let go.

You guard yourself like an ice bag, that would melt, time and again but never impart with all that it has. You would feel most yourself when frozen.

Unless someone manages to pierce right through. With a gentle hand of course. And then you realise you aren’t losing yourself. You’re just amalgamating into something better.

What you think is a leak, is a part of a higher process of creation. Let’s say you’re a machine. Your beloved laptop. You got to do away with the existing system to upgrade to a higher one. Something’s gotta end for a new one to begin.

Why do we hate endings so much? Why don’t we let things that run out their course, be? Attachment is wonderful till it becomes a leach.

Change. How wonderfully exciting and fearsome at the same time! Next to love, it’s perhaps the only thing that flaunts its oxymoronic capacity.

You guard your heart like a doorman. Watching strictly who passes by. Frisking them for anything they can use against you. For you think you’re precious. Or vulnerable. You are.

But so is everybody. Precious. Irreplaceable. For themselves anyway. Why not then make it a freeway? Let those come that seek to enter. Let those stay that meet your approval.

For everyone else, there’s always a well-spent goodbye. The gentle turning away and gradual fading as opposed to shocking them out of their wits by closing the door on their face, with a thud.

Selfless loving is seldom understood, let alone be appreciated.

Don’t stand with your high horse intimidating the curious eye. Don’t judge before knowing. Or write off before testing. Or succumb without doubting.

It’s a matter of life and death you know. This business of giving your heart to someone. You bestow them the power to enliven you or benumb.

But without love, the existence is merely perfunctory. Even animals exist. Even plants grow and wither. Even machines upgrade. That heart wasn’t given to you just to pump blood.

You’re subconsciously told and drilled to be ordinary, no matter how much they tell you to strive to be not. While the truth is, you’re supposed to move towards being a legend, no matter how much you strive to blend.

Or maybe the heart really was meant to just pump blood. Stupid humans dribbling it off course with their dirty mushy fingers. Then letting the poor heart dangle by their sleeve. But then we evolved into a multitasking race, didn’t we? Let’s explore it’s full potential.

We all take birth and do die. They say it’s the in between that matters.

The in between of being hopeless and hopeful. Of being raised to exultation and dumped into mourning. Between “what if” and “why not”. It’s never the extremes that teach us the survival skills anyway. Ah, the comfort of slinking into oblivion of the in-betweeness.

And then they still ask, why love? Why ain’t I enough? Because you aren’t programmed to be. Because no matter how much you master solitude, you’re slave to your desires.

Howsoever you bask in your self love, you crave appreciation. Some outspokenly. Some in hush hush subtlety. We love being loved.

Why fear a heart ache or a heart break? Do you fear death? Do you not get into your car each day knowing millions of people die in road accidents without it being their fault?

Do you not want to bungee jump or go trekking or scuba diving? Or for the less adventurous ones, visit a foreign land, taste exotic food, drive on an empty road by the sea at night?

We’re tuned differently in degrees, but like those toy soldiers made from a single teaspoon, we originate from the same base.

Find what gives solace to your heart and hold on tight to it. For however they’ve spoilt through over usage of this saying, but the truth is, you do only live once. And you’d die once and for all too.

Live, love, let live.

P.S. These were supposed to be random thoughts and hence probably the lack of any structure. But then I thought, let me put it here. Maybe the shoe fits someone.

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I read: The Four: The Hidden DNA of Amazon, Apple, Facebook and Google

‘The Four’ considers the enormous power accrued by the big four technology giants Amazon, Apple, Facebook and Google. Whilst it isn’t a fiction, it really gives you an insight into how these huge corporation came up from a ‘germ’ of an idea to becoming what they are today; the exception being Apple, however, that organisation really did undertake a metamorphosis to come back from the brink of collapse and introduced levels of innovation never before seen in the consumer world.

Remember when Tom Hanks puts the smaller competitor out of business in the movie ‘You’ve Got Mail’, he puts it simply – “It’s not personal, it’s business”. Well, Scott Galloway has been, a number of times that smaller competitor which has been swallowed, strangled and snuffed out. But even saying that his appraisal of the business acumen within The Four is straight and follows the same line throughout; which could lead you to wholly believe the slight bent towards how “smart” the four are. I then have to lead myself back to “it’s not personal, it’s business”. 😉

The book points the trail of how socially involved the big four and their operations are in our everyday lives. It does an excellent job in putting a context to how dependent yet oblivious we are to the encroachment of the big four into our lives. The featured companies have managed to get ‘inside our minds’ to create an emotional, perhaps addictive, relationship with us, even if we do not necessarily know it or accept it. Don’t agree with me? Try to delete various social media apps to recover from so called “Facebook depression” only to discover it is virtually impossible to share photographs you have taken with your smartphones on the same social media. Difficult, isn’t it?

This observation takes place at a very interesting time for the only competition the Four face are from each other, and the race is between them to become the premier operating system. The author most definitely knows what he’s talking about. He has written not only with great insight but also with considerable humour, not least about the origins of our consumerist cravings.

The first half of the book looks at the history of retail and the business strategies of each of the Four, whilst the second half chiefly considers the Four’s relations with governments and competitors and suggests future trends.

It is an insightful read, even though there is no shortage of information on these companies available online and in-print. It is an engaging and accessible read. Myths are abound about these companies of course, possibly with a degree of truth at heart, yet how did these companies manage to establish such a firm position? The journey was not necessarily smooth and without pain and neither can the future be guaranteed, but for the time being these giants show no sign of being dislodged from their pedestals.

The author also shows how some of these corporate secrets can be deployed within our own business and private lives – yet naturally can no guarantee be given. As a reader, I learnt some of the strategies deployed by these companies, how they play with industry rivals, customers, regulators and even the governments. While they bring tremendous benefits, they also pose risks, especially to jobs in which the biggest changes are to be anticipated.

I liked the contents, index, references and style and pace of writing, however the author has never worked for any of the four companies he’s discussing, thus it misses out what could have been an industry insider classic; and so you are left wanting more from the text, more explanation, more exposition.

Given the head-start of the Four, Galloway goes on to ask whether there is room for a fifth Horseman? He considers Alibaba, Uber, Tesla, Microsoft, and Verizon. Will any of these make it?

Whatever your own views about these companies – and views can vary on different elements of corporate behaviour and more besides – you surely cannot fail to enjoy this book, even if it does seem to end so quickly as you just churn through its pages, devouring its content along the way. The future can be very interesting, since these giants fight against each other for even-more domination. One or more giant may fall, possibly to be replaced by a yet-unknown. Interesting times are ahead, that is for sure.

I particularly enjoyed the great mix of information, commentary, humour and cynicism presented throughout this book. It is a recommended read even if you don’t think you are interested in just these four companies. BUT if reading a book seems like a tedious task to you, watch Scott Halloway’s TED talk and you will get the jist.

Have you read this book? Do share your thoughts in the comments…

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My 2018 Reading Challenge

I love reading…rather I enjoy reading but I have got into a habit of putting it off for later and never getting back to it. To encourage myself to read, I have created a list of categories (instead of books) to keep it interesting. Feel free to join me in the challenge or recommend me a book to read in any of the category.

  • Book written by a celebrity
  • Young adult bestseller
  • My husband’s favourite book
  • A prizewinning book
  • Political memoir
  • A Book from Oprah’s book club
  • Book recommended by a friend
  • An Autobiography
  • Book that takes place on an island
  • Book with a blue cover
  • Book with over 500 pages
  • Book with a number in the title
  • Book published this year
  • Book with a one word title
  • Book set in a different country
  • Book by an author I love but haven’t read yet
  • Book based on a true story
  • Book chosen based entirely on cover
  • Book with a colour in the title
  • Book you own but have never read
  • Book by author I have never read before
  • Book made into a film
  • Book by author of different ethnicity
  • Book with weather in the title
  • Book from a celebrity book club
  • Book set in decade I was born
  • Goodreads Choice Awards winner
  • Author with same first or last name as me
  • Book set in country I have never been to
  • Book with a name in the title
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