Maybe…

1. Maybe…we were supposed to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that, when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.
2. Maybe…when the door of happiness closes, another opens; but, often times, we look so long at the closed door that we don’t even see the new one which has been opened for us.
3. Maybe…it is true that we don’t know what we have until we lose it, but it is also true that we don’t know what we have been missing until it arrives.
4. Maybe…the happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.
5. Maybe…the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; after all, you can’t go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistakes, failures and heartaches.
6. Maybe…you should dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you dream of, and want to do.
7. Maybe…there are moments in life when you miss someone — a parent, a spouse, a friend, a child — so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real, so that once they are around you appreciate them more.
8. Maybe…the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had.
9. Maybe…you should always try to put yourself in others’ shoes. If you feel that something could hurt you, it probably will hurt the other person, too.
10. Maybe…you should do something nice for someone every single day, even if it is simply to leave them alone.
11. Maybe…giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don’t expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but, if it doesn’t, be content that it grew in yours.
12. Maybe…happiness waits for all those who cry, all those who hurt, all those who have searched, and all those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of all the people who have touched their lives.
13. Maybe…you shouldn’t go for looks; they can deceive; don’t go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.
14. Maybe…you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy
15. Maybe…you should try to live your life to the fullest because when you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling but when you die, you can be the one who is smiling and everyone around you crying.

Roll With It..!!

“So what do you hope to be doing 5 years from now?“

That’s a common question asked by hiring managers in many job interviews, and certainly a question that I have been asked both as a candidate and as a hiring manager in interviews. Ambitious candidates often have a plan as to where they “hope” to be professionally in their chosen field.

But what if the same question was asked for your life?

Let’s face it, we all have some idea of how we would like life to turn out. But the reality is that life usually doesn’t end up looking like the picture we had in our head. We tend to get a little (or a lot) out of sorts when things don’t go as we plan.

We as humans like to make plans for our lives. I think most of us go through life expecting everything to go just as we planned it. To get that great job, find that perfect companion and get married, buy a great house and raise our 2 kids, and retire somewhere to gracefully live out our days watching our children and grandchildren. But realistically, that isn’t always how it happens. We are yet to find that perfect mate, or maybe they walked out on you because they didn’t want to be married anymore. That great job you always wanted didn’t roll the final offer to you. In an instant, all those things you have planned for go up in flames. We go through our own seasons of great difficulty – the ones we didn’t ask for and above all we didn’t expect. I, too, wondered about the answers, explanations, solutions…

But what if we didn’t need answers? What if there was something better than getting easy answers and quick fixes?

Have you ever had a plan blow up in your face? I surely have a few to count… If you know me at all, you know I am a planner. There are have been times when my plans had to be changed. So what do you do when life hands you a plan-B situation instead of a plan-A situation? In my own life recently, life has dealt me a Plan B situation. Honestly, I am still walking through a Plan B.

We can’t smooth over the wrinkles and life can be really tough and we may not understand why certain situations are occurring in our lives. There often aren’t easy answers to the Plan Bs we experience.

For everyone, situations are a little different, and no one has all the answers. Sometimes, things do not turn out as we would have hoped. And circumstances don’t turn out as we would like. All of us have Plan A. What happens when Plan A is failure? God is testing us with these catastrophes. This is where the “Plan B” comes into our life. God uses our Plan B in our lives. God will always take these situations in our lives where we have pain and struggle, and will never fail at the opportunity to show us how much he loves us. God never destroys our lives, but he does allow us to make our own decisions, even when those decisions take us farther away from God.

We often wonder where God is, why are things going so badly, and why do I continue to struggle through this pain for years and years. Too often, we want that pain to be over as quickly as possible, and we scream at God when it doesn’t happen in our timing. The fact remains that God’s timing is nothing like ours, and His timing isn’t ready for us to be out of this season in life. A tough thing to swallow, that’s for sure, but true.

 

…

The reality is that each one of us, with our carefully thought out plans, will be forced to throw the plan away and divert to a plan we never considered-Plan B. Plan B’s come in many forms, but they will come. It’s a good plan with success and happiness in the picture.

Plan B is not about rearranging your summer schedule, or not having enough time to read. It’s about dealing with changes, disappointments and heartbreaks. It’s about losses; lost jobs, lost marriage, and lost lives. It’s about lost visions and lost dreams. It’s about questioning if God is any where in our circumstances. It’s about how do we handle those times that come when life knocks us off our feet and it seems as if God isn’t right there to pick us up and make everything fine again. What do we do when things happen that we never thought would, and we are totally powerless to change those outcomes. Plan B is an honest, no frills assessment of how we react when these situations come.

The question is are our plans and God’s the same? Two answers to that question: Yes, and ofcourse, No. I ponder the question for which there is no simple answer and yet reassuring myself that it’s ok not to have an answer. I agree that it’s difficult to understand when life takes a different direction. It’s about giving up the life you think you should have versus the one that God wants for you.

I am wondering how different life would be for each one of us if we chose to view our circumstances and our relationships as the gifts they are. Change in our present situation is not needed to be at peace. Change in perception is what transforms our life.

Someone once said that life is what happens when we are planning for it. Ain’t it?? So let’s roll with it..

If I met my friend now…??

What is a good friend? I think we all know when we have one, but why can’t we ever figure out the ones that just don’t seem to be quite right? Friendships span the whole relationship gamut and it is nice to know that there are some dos and don’ts that make sense and make life make more sense.

I am one of those people who thinks of everyone they have ever met as a potential friend. I firmly believe that my life will be incomplete without friends. They have pulled me through real tough times. As the adage goes, “A friend in need is a friend indeed” hence I hold few of them so strongly in my life to never let go. I have real lasting friendship and I learnt that it is okay to be needy. For at times we all need someone to take care of us once in a while. Similarly, I have had some guilt about letting go of friendships past their prime but have also understood that it’s healthy to acknowledge the good that  happened, and still be able to move on. I have also learnt that I need to be careful with who I give my heart to~ ofcourse I learnt this the hard way.

Do we treasure our friendships? Are they an indication of the sort of life that we lead and the sort of person that we have become? If we don’t intentionally nurture our friendships and invest time in them, then they too easily dwindle away in the press of life.” So true, ain’t it? The importance of being “real” and authentic with our friends, about not hiding behind masks to be someone we are not with our friends and about honesty in friendship. All good reminders to keep ourselves genuine in our friendships and in our life.

If I met my friend now, would we still be friends? I might be unable to answer it but I do know that we are friends now and will remain forever. Dr. Bonior, writer of “Baggage Check” column in Washington Post, aptly puts it – “It can sometimes seem…that we’re on the lookout for perfect people. But if you think about it, if we picked only perfect people as friends, who’d be picking us?“

Right friends???

I am lovin’ it!!

When an attractive single woman is asked,”So why aren’t you married?”, there’s nothing wrong with asking me just that, but the “yet” implies that this is something I must do.” Oh My God, an ill-at-ease moments, I can’t even count how many times I have been asked that question. It’s always implied that there is something “wrong” with me because I chose to follow a different path. It is not that I never wanted to settle or still don’t. I broke up with my fiance after deciding that the marriage might not seem right. You can’t force chemistry. So many of my paired off friends try to talk me into liking a man when I just don’t feel that click. It’s there or it isn’t, and it’s so much more fun to date a man when it’s there.

My confidence in living the life I have always wanted, and I meant to have, is a blast of fresh air in a world full of stale stereotypes. But, we are a misunderstood lot for not taking the traditional routes some women choose. Almost any single person has been affected by myth and stigma. Supposedly we are misfits with empty lives, doomed to die alone, frustrated at never achieving the perfection of coupledom. Ah, the nuances of self-love without being narcissistic, self-confidence without being cocky, self-deprecating without being pitiable all while exhibiting common sense and incredibly delicious wit. I didn’t have to settle or be unhappy if I did indeed choose to be involved with someone. It doesn’t mean I have to marry someone I don’t love or I’m not attracted to because it’s “the thing to do.” Our culture is filled with prejudice against singles and it’s just not fair. Our culture has belittled any relationships other than marriage as unimportant when in fact, friendships and relationships with siblings are just as important and often longer lasting.

Living alone doesn’t mean being lonely. There’s an attitude shift that can occur that can make it possible to feel interconnected with everyone who passes through our lives. I want to take this time to learn guitar, sketch, write blogs, and travel to places. I have also come to appreciate that although I am not in a relationship right now, I can appreciate the male (and female) relationships I have in my life in a new way. I am happy, and my life is healing from the sores of insecurity and sadness that unhappy relationships can bring.

There is no right way to live your life BUT to all the fabulous single women – by choice or by circumstances – everywhere, Cheers!! Live it loud, live it proud and live it single if that’s what makes your boat float.

“Mommy” Katie Davis

If you live a comfortable life and don’t want anything or anyone messing up your comfort zone then you will want to re-examine your core beliefs and values after knowing Katie Davis whose missionary act will shake some moments…you will feel a gentle nudge from God that you have something beyond yourself to accomplish in this world – had me longing in confusion and asking, “well God, what do you want me to do now?”.

Why would she forego college, leave her parents and brother, lose friends, and break up with her boyfriend? Basically she wanted to do God’s will for her life. After reading her journey, struggles and plan on her blog, http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.in/, you will get your answer that she had a great desire to change children’s lives one by one. You will have a song in your heart and a tear in your eye. Katie makes it all “seem so easy.” Well, yes and no. She does amaze me when she continues to say “maybe just one more.”

“Mommy”

In a world full of materialism, this young woman has exchanged a life of wealth in the U.S. to serve the needs of children in Africa. Her love and call to the mission field is obvious. No one could accomplish what she has without God’s influence. This young woman read the commands of Jesus and had the nerve to actually do as He said, “If you love Me, feed my sheep.”Katie, a high school homecoming queen and student body president and honor student and girlfriend to a handsome, committed, spiritual, star athlete – had every reason to “come home.” But her heart was back in Uganda with the motherless children she had fallen in love with. Katie abandoned her Mid southern upbringing – exchanged the North American suburban dream for a life of service, poverty and sacrifice, just after graduation from high school to travel across the world and become a modern-day American Mother Theresa.

She has no formal training or experience in theology, childcare or fundraising and receives little guidance or support from others. However, she is giving all she has. She spends her days ministering to the sick, feeding the poor and changing the family tree of almost everyone she comes in contact with. At the tender age of 22, she has adopted 14 young girls and has created a loving home in the face of adversity that most of us cannot even begin to grasp. And what a heart that girl has! The founder and director of a non-profit organization called Amazima (which means truth) is a ministry which helps several children in Uganda.

We don’t know how lucky we are. Most of us can take a bath or shower whenever we want, we have a roof over our heads, we have a bed to sleep in, and we have food at the table. These are just the basics but most of the children in Uganda don’t have these luxuries. It is really something to think about.

Katie is a perfect example of someone who truly believes and lives that “her life is not her own.” Is it any wonder that the name she has been given by the people of her village is “Mommy.”

Related articles

• Doing Good: Amazima (austingilly.wordpress.com)
• Young Missionary Finalist for Magazine’s ‘Women of the Year’. (greatriversofhope.wordpress.com)

Saying Goodbye to my four-legged angel (RIP)

It seems just yesterday when I brought her home all of 2 months, a black bundle of joy who was so restless away from her mother but very soon found the warmth under my other dog Bruno’s neck..all snuggled up and sleeping like a baby to much annoyance of Bruno, ofcourse. Once I moved to a different city for work, she moved in with me. Oh, she was a sweetheart to come back home to. I never really had to train her for anything. She adjusted well with my work hours during weekdays and ensured that I give her enough attention over the weekends. She was my +1 in all the friendly parties. She was taken care of by my friends if I had to travel for work. Ah, she was every one’s darling.

She enjoyed dog food as much as she enjoyed tomatoes. She was possessive of her ball and loved fielding on the ground. She was a terror for outsiders but a warm cuddly one for the insiders. She always knew when anyone in the house was not well and would keep an eye on him/her. She was naughty as a brat but with kids, she would let them have the liberty to be naughty with her. She knew she was not allowed to sit on the bed or couch but she also knew that she owns the privilege to sit on the same place where I sit. And no one dare to walk into my room even after knocking on door until I mumble a Yes or else, apart from mother, others have been pounced upon. She would slather you with her love every time she would see you, bark for attention, eat food when its my dinnertime, snuggle up for the exact same spot on bed which is warm in winter and gets more cool air during summers. Her unconditional love could be seen in her eyes. When something was botherting me, I could see worry in her eyes. She was addictive hence her name “Whisky”.

Whisky (16-May-1996 to 28-Jul-2012)

On Saturday (28-Jul-12), my beloved four-legged angel, Whisky, left me to be in Heaven after sharing my life for more than 16 years. Certain religion generally teaches that animals do not go to heaven and, when they die, that’s the end for them. But, I know that she will be waiting in Heaven to greet me when I pass into her world and until that day, I will love my little angel and keep her memory alive in my heart and in my heart she will stay.

I just cannot imagine life without her. I never knew that something so small could weigh so much in your heart and totally captivate your world. I now understand that we only have those precious little creatures for a season. My heart which is empty is now filling up with memories of my angel. I have lost a very precious piece of me.

RIP Whisky, you have gone on ahead. I will catch up to you later.

**Wink** ;)

Think about a plan you made, then a coincidence steered you into a new direction. Coincidence? or God’s rudder steering you?

I can recall few times when things happened to me and I thought “I can’t believe this happened to me!”. Many times I have thought about things that happened to me and wondered, how could that be? Why did this happen at this particular time in my life? Then there have been times in my life where I said “Wow what a Coincidence?”.

Often, I have taken things for granted. I know I simply did not appreciate what I had or what came my way, Good or Bad. Now I simply wink to show a sense of appreciation for the little things in my everyday life. I replace my anger at missing a light or misplacing my keys with a patience. I see how amusing life is and all that surrounds us constantly!

These are not just random occurances…they happen constantly. I just open my eyes and WHAM!…There they are. You might find this idea far-fetched. Uhmmm, maybe…but that’s the whole point! It proves that while I may think that out of six billion people on the planet, I will never meet “the one”…in fact, I am on someone’s GPS system all the time. In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities. I keep the hope and faith alive and watch for the signs

Everyone takes their own experiences the way they see fit. It’s called interpretation. When you start looking at life as a succession of little winks you can actually begin to look forward to the day!! Being an agnostic, I feel that things all lined up for us if we pay attention and when we don’t, situations perk our attention.

Want to make God laugh? Tell him your plans.

Unfold the napkin!!

If we can set aside our expectations suddenly everything good that enters our life becomes a blessing. Hang on to our expectations and we can expect to be dissatisfied when they aren’t met, and unappreciative when they do come true – after all, we expected to get it and felt that we deserved it, so why should we appreciate it?

Most of our problems stem from dissatisfaction with situations that are perfectly acceptable, even though they fall short of our preferences. However, sometimes…our problems are simple, clear and to the point. But we are caught in a web of advices, solutions, empathy provided by people around us instead of dispensing common-sense advice or no advice at all.

The problem of course as with most ‘advice’ even when it’s the best in the world, is that it is far easier to give, than to take. When we look to others, or other “things,” we’re not solving our problems but only creating additional problems for ourselves. If what you’re looking for are solutions, then you’ve just found them.

One of the secrets to solve the problem is recognizing that everything has a price. And we must determine if we are willing to pay the price or let it go. Even a relationship has a price…so does not being in a relationship. Is there a place in our life where we are bemoaning the price we have had to pay?

We are actually obligated to be happy because it makes us better people…but this is not as easy as it sounds, in that it requires a continuing process of counting our blessings and giving up expectations that life is supposed to be wonderful…it will only happen when we take responsibility for our life rather than spend time blaming others.

There are so many problems that come up in life and few for the first time in my life. I had answers to things I should have done in the past but most importantly, things to do in the future. I know for a fact that through prayer and waiting, all things work out for good according to God’s plans. I have had times when I wondered why God would let this or that happen but in the end found out it has made me a much better, stronger, and prayerful person. I now put problems or questions in God’s hands and wait for answers while trying to find the solutions myself. HE never fails. I am not saying “dump all your problems on God”.  You may feel overburdened, but don’t throw in the towel just yet, my friend.

We are always too focused on our problems to remember what do we appreciate more, the gift we have demanded or the one we didn’t expect? Learn to unfold the napkin…

Writing Love Story

Most of us have had experience with dating quite a few not-so-right Mr. Right. When we date them, we all pay the price of the broken hearts, etc. Unfortunately, due to the worldly influence found everywhere and peer pressure, we are looking for romance instead of an enduring love. We still have “Mr. Right-moments” from time to time. There are no 100% Mr. Right out there – for the mere reason we are all humans.

Being anything but Miss Right myself I find the idea of Mr. Right unfair and selfish. Plus, if I get someone, where is that person supposed to grow from there for several decades we are hopefully supposed to spend together? Where’s the adventure of turning the stones and see what lies beneath?

This does not mean that I would choose just anyone. One should keep our standards high or should I say set our standards right, and not settle for anything less. There’s a big difference between a mind commitment and heart commitment.

Every person should to go through heartaches, I believe, so as to have an ultimate experience of what loving and losing that love is all about. Sounds cruel but I believe that heartaches are part of living too. But, one should not hang a trespassing sign on the heart. After all, how would one experience blissful happiness and true love if one has not gone through disillusionment and failure? One can never really fathom the meaning of hunger if that same someone is always full and satisfied. Sometimes, failures are necessary but not to the extent that the same failure repeatedly happens or simply man-made tragedy in my dictionary.

“Let God write your love story,” is what my mother advocates when I went through a heartache.  God writes our love story and not us so we should give God the pen. But even when we suffer heartaches, and we do, it is all too tempting to say “God, could you just loan me the pen, just for a minute? I’ll just write one thing myself, and then I’ll give it right back.”

Now I actually do believe that God writes our love and life stories into His grand story. God and I are on the same side! Once in a while, I pray, “Lord, there is someone out there but you have to show him to me because I don’t know any!” Oh no – I am not in a rush as I want to find my Mr. Right and not Mr. Right Now.

Can I get an AMEN???

G-Spot

I must confess my G-spot wavers. Yes, I do believe in miracles – not to believe requires a leap of faith.

Sometimes when events in my life take me with surprises/ shocks, I find myself asking ‘WHYs?’ - What do I believe about my life? Why am I here? Where am I going? Is life just a mindless fumbling through a maze or does it have purpose and meaning? What does the future hold, a depressing existence and then the promise of hope and a future? What is HE up to? These questions and many more. Answering these questions requires spending a whole lot of time digging into the issues — and debating both sides for greater clarity. I didn’t know whether or not to pray scriptures, get on my knees each time I pray each day, get counseling, rebuke Almighty, start fasting, or give more money to charity. As my parents always say, ‘HE took it away so that HE could give you something better than what you think is best. HE thinks at a much higher level than we can possibly fathom.’

I am in the process of learning that my feeble attempts to manipulate and control Almighty by my prayers and whining will not work. I have learnt to speak to my heart and allow myself to see that I had only been managing my circumstances. It is my reactions to the incidents and events in my life that makes me happy or sad. I have grown up believing that certain events of our life are pre-destined by Almighty. I sometimes wonder if it was pre-destined, why did it have to happen? However, as we grow, we need to learn lessons – for deeds which we might have intentionally or unintentionally done to cause hurt or pain to someone.

Having found the God-Spot within myself, my response to my problems has slowly changed as my trust has grown. This may have alleviated some anxiety (true!). That’s not really my focus anymore, so it’s hard to measure. But I am happy. From being a lunatic who could not go an hour without thinking obsessively about my crisis to someone who has learnt to truly let go. I am actually living again! And the WHYs are pretty much gone.