Why do I do what I do???

I am the type of person who puts a great deal of pressure on myself in all aspects of my life. This obviously results in a heightened level of stress, discomfort and overall disillusionment…only to end up in the extreme workaholic, career-chasing crowd of today’s world.

I find myself constantly rushing so that I may eventually “live the good life”. Most of us do this, right?? …only to find that it could be too late to enjoy it by the time we get there. However, now I realize that the good life must be led, in moderation, on a daily basis.

“A job that you can “love” is one of the holy grails of modern existence isn’t it? It is one of those things we start striving towards as soon as we’re out of our schools and colleges, and catapult into our professional lives.  If only we could find a job we love. A job we actually want to do. A job that has us bouncing out of bed in the morning, instead of making us wonder what would kill us faster: ingested shaving cream or correction fluid in our sandwich. A job that fits our strengths and weaknesses and desires and ambitions like a glove. A job that keeps us happy. A job with no trade-offs or compromises.“

The above thoughts would have passed your mind, at some point in your career, right?…making you crazy of what are you doing in life and wanting to throw everything away running in the woods to be close to nature and find yourself..is it not?

I am a regular reader of Cubiclenama where sometimes I nod my head in ah-yes-it-does-happen moment, sometimes in wonderment and sometimes when an article resonates the thoughts in my mind. The article “Don’t Love Your Job” resonated like-wise.

Sinking away in the dull samsaric circle of routinesque habits, you know – get  up – work – tv -sleep, I find myself pleasantly cleansed from the conformist dust collecting on my ever-narrowing existential perspective. Many a time, I am left with a feeling like I need to start a whole new system to make any changes – not the most productive way in my mind!

Due to tug-o-war between 2 teams and 2 bosses to report to, which devoided me of 2 promotions and overall 30% salary hike in 6.5 years of my service, led me to quit. BUT I was happy in my previous job as I loved what I did. It was not a happy decision…I still remember being nervous when approaching my manager to inform him of my decision.

But, even in my new organization, I have to “make do” because I fell into something and am just trying to make it work – because it’s a job – because I am scared to quit (I wonder WHY?). In few months, I may delude myself into thinking that I CAN DO IT but that is not what I WANT to do.

Choices that we make in life and then stick to for any reason, are a source of unhappiness in the work place. We incessantly complain about being underpaid or working in a unchallenging or misfit profile, but refuse to accept responsibility for our decisions. Mis-fit positions affect employees and their productivity as well as their job satisfaction.

A lot of us are confused because we are expending all of our energy climbing the wrong ladder. If our passion is our income or even our designation, we are climbing a ladder leaning against an empty container. It’s so important for us to realize that our satisfaction with a position is driven by more than one or two aspects. Sometimes it feels like we are taught from a young age to go after salary or title, as human beings we are complicated creatures and are driven by many influences. I think we all want to see some semblance of growth in responsibilities, in title, in compensation, and in value we bring to the organization.  Without this, work can be mind-numbing and hopeless.

We rely on mid-year and end-of-year reviews for which we have no time to even think of properly completing. As such, it turns out to be a paper shuffle filled with empty words that skirt real issues and possibly conflict. How can we REALLY tell if we are in the “right” job?  Do we have the passion for the mission?  If the response is “yes”, then we are in the right job, regardless of pay, hours, and/or supervisor.

Without that struggle, would I have known a good fit when I found it? Would I have earned the skills necessary to find that good fit? Most of us don’t have the luxury to quit, so let’s use the time to learn and grow so those “right jobs” can be in our future. One has to keep in mind, there is more to life than work that can offer challenges. Hard work always pays off, that said if we have the right job we will enjoy putting in the extra work.

Dr. Charles Stanley once asked a related question (directed to a group of pastors), “Are you satisfied with merely making an impression, or do you want to make an impact?” They both take passion and effort, but one is all about ME, the other is all about OTHERS. The most fulfilling job is the one that I can contribute the most to those I care about.

In a perfect world, yes there is a luxury of switching to the perfect job. But in current economies, we have limited options and probably that’s what holding me back from quitting. Many people are taking whatever they can get, because one can only accept a job after it has been offered to you.

Therefore, we need to learn to drive value and build transferable skills that may help us in our future prefect job (whenever we get it). I believe we should be thankful enough, not just for the good experiences, but for the not-so-good experiences too – after all they all help us grow and prepare us.

We can be in job (where we are happy, helpful, competent, evolving professionally and successful at what we do) AND it still might not be the right job/career for us. We might learn to be competent and successful at what we do, but deep down we will always have a desire and passion to pursue a different path. That yearning for something different might be our cue to explore a job, career or calling that feels true and authentic to us. I need to prepare myself for my time away from the rat race that so many of us are trying to beat only to lose. I wish to take a break from work, the people we associate with all the time, and let myself explore the other side of me that is desperate to come out.

I should enjoy the playful and light voice in my head, peppering me with little interesting tidbits about the benefits of “sins” and pleasure. I already find joy in just thinking how much more fun life can be realizing that no one or nothing should impede on a short human life’s quest for sensual pleasure. What else is there to live for? Selling your soul for the benefit of the company’s expansion, while disregarding the fact that there so much less things we can do to become happy? We are all trained to become civilized robots depending their status on the degree of refinement of their tastes – sometimes missing the point, deep down we just want to have the cosy mind-numbing comfort of sensual pleasure.

If I could have my way, I would like to be a writer, travel photographer, friendly counsellor and open an NGO. It would make for one hell of an interesting life!!

As we speed along this endless road to the destination called who-we-hope-to-be, I can’t help but whine “Are we there yet?”

This is Good!

An old story is told of a king in Africa who had a close friend with whom he grew up. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, “This is good!”

One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off.

Examining the situation the friend remarked as usual, “This is good!” To which the king replied, “No, this is NOT good!” and proceeded to send his friend to jail.

Some days later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took him to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to the stake. As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate anyone who were less than whole. So untying the king, they sent him on his way.

As he returned home, he was reminded of the event that had taken his thumb and felt remorse for his treatment of his friend. He went immediately to the jail to speak with his friend. “You were right,” he said, “it was good that my thumb was blown off.” And he proceeded to tell the friend all that had just happened. “And so I am very sorry for sending you to jail for so long. It was bad for me to do this.”

“No,” his friend replied, “This is good!” “What do you mean by, ’This is good’? How could it be good that I sent my friend to jail for so long?” To which the friend replied, “If I had NOT been in jail, I would have been with you and the cannibals would have killed me instead…”

Everything happens for a reason… Nothing happens by chance or by means of luck. Illness, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test limits of your soul. And sometimes things happen to you at the time that may seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would never realize your potential, strength, will power or heart.

Source: Internet

Peter Pan

People tend to over analyze each generation which stems from serious misunderstanding and no offence, a lot of this criticism is counter productive and stems from self insecurities. David Foster Wallace called the Baby Boomers “probably the single most self-absorbed generation since Louis XIV.”

Now, I think everyone is obsessively analyzing and negatively perceiving Peter Pan Generation.

It’s Not How They Grow Up, But How They Grow Out!! Pic Source: Interbrand

We are all the products of our upbringings, the values, strengths and gifts that we choose to develop and of the world events and technologies that each generation experiences in their lifetime. As a Boomer, I remember being called the “me” generation and the adults of the time shaking their heads and wondering what would become of these “hippies” and “feminists” etc. We have heard the same complaints made of Gen X and Gen Y and now the Peter Pans.

Peter Pans are are free-spirited, they do what they love, they dare to dream and they are born and raised at a time where anything is easily accessible to them. They are well aware, competitive, more forgiving, more practical, less emotionally driven, innovators, creative and fit. Given the right direction, they discipline themselves in time. We need to trust them more. We need to be more open to their ideas, for what they suggest today maybe the very norm tomorrow.

The free-flow of information on the internet has truly given Peter Pans access to information and inspiration that previous generations didn’t have, which fuels their great expectations. I think their desire for success has been misinterpreted as delusion, and an unwillingness to put in the work. Truly, it is the opposite. They are enthusiastic, passionate, and willing to do what it takes to get to their end goal. I wish that negative interactions could be attributed to the individual at fault, and not cause generalization of an entire generation.

Each generation will find their own way towards their future, there will be innovations, successes and new ways to tackle both old and new problems all of which is sure to cause delight and/or discomfort from different segments of the population. Boomers stood on the shoulders of their parents and the Peter Pans will do the same with theirs, such is the cycle of life. The pointing fingers, the blaming past generations for their perceived failures, the disparaging of our youth has gone on forever and rarely is an accurate forecast of a generations accomplishments or failures.

What amazing things the people of the world could accomplish if we opened our hearts and minds to the different perspectives each of us has to offer and work together in creating the best the world can be. In working with people much younger or older than myself has proven to be invaluable in terms of the breadth and depth of knowledge and experience. Diversity breeds creativity and innovation, we need to be reminded of the past to allow us to envision the future. As for myself, some of the best advice I have been given has come from my great-grandmother and my Peter Pan siblings, both visionaries of their time.

I have observed this generational trait first hand and it boggles my mind when we call them Lazy, entitled, and narcissistic. However, I would say it’s an overgeneralized stereotype too because we can’t justifiably apply the label to ALL of them. I have met young people who are passionate, creative, energetic, and driven by the desire to love the unlovable. It’s truly inspirational.

My take on it is this: Yes, most of them are lazy and narcissistic and still live with their parents. And yes if they went to a public school, of course they are indoctrinated with an entitlement mentality… but what an opportunity it is for the rest of them!! Like lions among hoards of goats, the next generation of leaders have virtually no competition from their peers. It might produce a mindset of “unlimited potential”, which, as we all know is a recipe for extremely good things to come!

In reality I would say it just a phase like any other generation or happening thing. People need to change and those of the current generation have done that will those of the past generation may be changing too, trying to keep up or upset because they have become set in their ways. The biggest disappointment I have with any new generation is how quickly businesses are to drop the old and embrace the new without encouraging advancing the old and tying it in with the new. So much lost knowledge with each generation change. I think the biggest downside to each new generation is the way that the new generation so quickly wants to discard the knowledge of the previous and how the previous generation want to hold on to their old ideals and ways. I do feel that this new generation is at least in the IT industry bridging that gap a bit more and I hope it continues with the future generations.

Every generation’s youth cohort makes up it’s own language, has it’s signature music and social icons. History will decide how great this generation is. How can we judge Peter Pans when they haven’t accomplished anything big yet!

Make it Happen!!

The greatest scientists in the world are just beginning to scratch the surface when it comes to understanding what our minds are really capable of. The mind is so unbelievably powerful in ways we could never imagine. You and I don’t need to understand exactly how it works, we just need to take care of our minds and let the magic happen.

Our subconscious mind takes orders from our conscious mind. The subconscious mind doesn’t ask questions, it doesn’t differentiate between empowering thoughts and demoralizing thoughts. It just acts upon the thoughts that we think. All outcomes and experiences in our lives are a direct result of our dominant mental thoughts. What we think, we become because our subconscious minds translate into reality our thought impulses.

When we ask ourselves a demoralizing question like “Why does this always happen to me?” our subconscious minds go to work whether we realize it or not. How do you think it responds to a demoralizing question like that? You are brilliant; it answers it with a bunch of demoralizing answers. It’s just like the computer you are reading. A computer’s output is based on its input. When a computer hacker tries to commit a cyber crime or steal someone’s identity, the computer doesn’t say it can’t do that because that’s illegal. It just performs what its user instructed it to do whether it’s legal or illegal.

Our subconscious minds act the same exact way a computer does. Its output is based on its input whether it’s a positive input or a negative input. Its not rocket science, if you want to change your output, you must change its input. The quality of your life is going to depend on the quality of your thoughts. The more empowering questions you ask your subconscious mind, the more empowered you will be. You must understand that the dominate thoughts of your mind will eventually manifest into the real world.

Buddha said, “We are shaped by our thoughts. We become what we think.”

All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world. The next time you want to let a negative thought or a demoralizing question enter your precious mind, be careful what you ask for because you are eventually going to get it.

Use incredible thoughts to manifest an incredible life. Your life will follow your thoughts. If you think it and believe it, your subconscious mind will make you achieve it. Take your passion and make it happen.

Glasses of Gender

Couple of my married girlfriends have been told during their hiring process of their job interview that as woman they might probably need time for maternity leave or if they have children, they might need time to take care of their emotional needs and others. More to the point, in a very different conversation, the same employer told them that women are more committed and more dedicated to their jobs. Argghh!! What is the discussion point, you might wonder…

Having a family *does* put a huge damper on a woman’s ability to progress in her career and it has a direct impact on everything from salary to responsibilities. Few of my married girlfriends/colleagues, I am afraid, have accepted less salary just to get the opportunity. They didn’t feel like they had to do that, but at that point they just wanted to so be back in the game without feeling that they have completely sacrificed their career. Make sense…!!

There is an underlying assumption that men work to support their families and in contrast, women, especially married women, are often viewed as working for the sake of working or for “extra” money. The idea that a woman is not financially independent and simply working for “extra” money is ludicrous. Looking into history, tribal women who were the primary providers. The way people live their lives hasn’t changed that much, but it is time for “the powers that be” to adapt and start treating people as individuals, rather than representations of their gender. On contrary, a break in career on a woman’s resume for wanting some time away for her kids is accepted without speculation, while for a man this seems difficult to explain on his resume.

Before we can change the mindset of society, we have to change our mindset first as we form the society. Women, in most cases consider themselves secondary income earners. To some degree women, even as entrepreneurs, don’t focus on growing revenue if they have a partner that makes the largest income. Let’s face it we will always be the primary care takers, as long as that is the case. However, we must realize it’s OUR choice and not the man’s fault.

Not all women put salary or climbing the corporate/business ladder as a top priority. For most women it’s ‘family first’ so they are prepared to trade-off the top jobs and salaries for their family (I might do so too). However, in heart, most of us want job flexibility with reduced hours and to get that, we might have to take the status and financial hit! Frankly speaking, women choose to prioritize life outside of work ahead of career frequently whereas men prioritize career ahead of personal life. Do both have trade-offs? Absolutely and sometimes that equates to less pay, career setbacks or missing growing years of their child. Many of my friends were sad when they heard from day-care that their child took their first-step while they were struggling to work their ass off at work. Not worth it, is what your heart tells you until your mind over-powers you reminding you of your mortgage.

It will be great if we remove the invisible “glasses of gender” from our eyes. Equality has to be accepted for both genders to see the changes we keep saying we want in society. The balance of family and work needs to be negotiated with your life partner and your compensation with your employer.

To-Do List

Doesn’t this cartoon strip remind us of our everyday? Hell no!! I am not going to bore you to death with my story of the day. But, this cartoon surely urges me to help Mr. Rat create a To-Do list to prioritize his work. ‘Cos I am a to-do list kinda-girl.

I usually have a to do list which is never in any priority order of importance as I often receive so many directives from middle management, I feel more like a gopher than a manager, and it can get the best of you when your list defines you! Because having a To-Do list is something that allows you to clear the clutter and focus on what the true value at stake is.

But, I think we all know that daily to-do lists are self-defeating, AND it’s hard to give up the practice, ain’t it? I trust that we keep a kind of mental compass which always points towards our goals and not just the tasks. However, this is easier said than done and separates the leaders from the managers.

And then I started to observe my senior manager – how he was able to cope in similar or rather more complex situations like mine. He remembers who his constituents are, eliminates the unnecessary, prioritize, delegates, and communicates a clear purpose. All things even experienced leaders need to revisit periodically (I know I do).

And then it dawned upon me – I find it difficult to delegate anything off my own list as I consider them as MY TASKS. It’s always good to get some thought provoking ideas. Breaking it up in this fashion would really help prioritize things and help you delegate as a leader.

It’s easy to quickly get lost in the trees if you don’t have the vision and discipline to look beyond the forest. This applies to everyone in a leadership. Without clear and concise direction, everyone is left running around with their heads cutoff. The task of leadership must by necessity include a lot of delegation. Letting go and letting others do the jobs they can do takes a lot of the stress off, and enables clearer thinking for the leaders, which in turn benefits all.

Separating our goals from our to-do list is a great concept, not always easy to do given time restraints which we all face but we cannot afford not to do it!  Sometimes our goals can get lost amongst the never ending to-do list. Achieving our goals and being recognized for our focus and “delivery” is great motivation for us. I love the idea of a “line of sight” as when we can see where we fit in the chain and how our contribution makes a different it encourages commitment and a winning attitude.

Leading–defining priorities, setting goals, and empowering our team to get it done–is why we have leaders. We need to group To Do into Employees, Shareholders, or Customers. I constantly ask how am I able to do other initiatives apart from regular work. My view is pretty similar…List, Prioritize, Delegate What can be done by others, Focus on Must Have in the list which needs to be done by me and last but not least, I ensure we all agreed to closure…

And often the most effective approach is the simplest like focusing on just 3 things…for escaping the tyranny of the “to-do” list!

Keep the right perspective…dump the peripheral clutter, energize yourself and others around you to maintain momentum and above all…keep it simple, one task at a time, if possible.  To-Do Lists are merely guidelines, not rules….reminders, not LAW.

Now go enjoy that gorgeous (chilly) day outside!

Whats’s in a name?

You wanna be where you can see that people are all the same… You wanna be where everybody knows your name. An old song, I know. But the bottom line is clear, we all feel better when interacting with others using our names. So, let’s do it and make life a little bit better.

We are now in the days of hiding behind a computer and, we forget to get personal. It makes even the most nonchalent/defensive of people relent when you refer to them by name when affirming, or even repeating, something they’ve just said.  If you put in such efforts to make people feel they matter, it certainly pays off, It’s a hoot to see the look in their eyes when they do not expect it.

At restaurants, I notice that the wait staff doesn’t seem to wear nametags anymore and sometimes I have to ask their names, but its nicer to say, “Excuse me, Sandy” rather than “Hey!” when you need something from them.  I think anyone appreciates being called by his/her name vs. something generic (especially the ewwwwww-inspiring “honey/sweetie/babe” that some women get.)

Ask a question using a name and you are more likely to get the positive answer than just using the question without the name. Referring to someone by their name is a moment of connection, whether in a professional or social situation. This helps build the relationships that lead to success.  The other side of the coin, introducing yourself and stating your own name when meeting someone new, is just as important.

Often in business situations people use full names. If I am going to have an extended relationship with the person I like to ask how they prefer to be addressed. Some people prefer James, while others prefer Jim. I like to call people by the name they prefer, but if you don’t ask, you don’t know. If someone prefers Jim and you keep using James, it is noticeable and can be uncomfortable to the person. Depending on the relationship, they may be uncomfortable correcting you.  I will add one more thing. If you are being formal and using an honorific, use the right one. Professor Jones may not like being called Mr Jones. General Smith probably does not like to be called Mr Smith. And Dr Barnes may not like Miss Barnes.

Dale Carnegie said, ”Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”

Sometimes I ask people about their first name. Many times folks love telling me the story behind their name, how they got it, why they have it, and it can be really fun to hear. Within 60 seconds, I know a lot more about them and their family history. I have always been a strong believer in building rapport and the name is always the first step.

It’s the little big things (in this case being called by name) that can make the difference in business and interpersonal relationships. If only more could adopt this simple courtesy. Indeed what you get by personalizing communication is really priceless. It is true that everyone likes the sound of heir own name and using it helps you to remember it. However, do not fall into the trap which some sales people have of inserting the name into every single sentence! Keep in mind:  “It’s my name, don’t wear it out.”

The only caveat being the importance of getting the name right. There are several reasons why mistakes may happen – assumed surnames, a surname that could be a first name, unknown transposition, etc. To be personal courtesies, names must be more than automated fill-ins for numbers.

“They couldn’t think of a number so they gave me a name” – Rupert Hines

Tip: Be careful in the UK.  They don’t like overfamiliarity and certainly don’t want their first names written on paper coffee cup when they just want a cup of coffee. 

Agree to Disagree

“Nothing gets accomplished without accountability,” said a wise U.S. Department of Education leader of educational reform. In simple words, to me this does imply the mere fact that it takes more than one for accomplishment, and many to be a powerful force.

I’ve never had an idea that couldn’t be improved by sharing it with others. Quite often, the “other” is someone who disagrees with me, sometimes fundamentally. Sometimes, usually in the middle of a heated discussion of next steps, it’s difficult to appreciate the colleagues who push and challenge me. I wouldn’t trade them for anything though. They make me better at what I do. Great ideas are meant to be shared!

One of my best and worst co-workers was one who challenged me on Everything. It was bad because it slowed things down.  I’d have to spend a lot of time building up a case for any new decisions.  It was good because it forced me to really think through important decisions – and be ready for a challenge.

I believe challenging ideas is often the best way to create new ones. People must be open to this concept and not intimidated by the questioning required to improve and/or create something new. Virtually,  it’s the best way to keep up with change. It’s overwhelming to see what can be accomplished when the people who challenge each other are also dedicated to showing each other mutual respect and arriving at a mutually agreeable outcome.

The challenging of ideas can definitely be a motivating factor. It can lead to compromise and benefits for both the teams as well as idea refinement for allies. Challenge eliminates complacency. All work environments need to embrace a healthy level of engaging, divergent thought-leadership perspectives.

If you want to be a champion then surround yourself with people who want to be champions. If you want to compete at the highest levels then train with those who compete at the highest levels. Spend lots of time with the people who will raise your game. If you want to grow then put yourself with a team that will make you uncomfortable when you do things that are wrong. Hang out with people who will push you to do the difficult things.

So even if you disagree with my thoughts, lets agree to disagree!!

Winners and Losers

Pieces of the Puzzle

**To be read with a pinch of humor** (:

As much as I enjoy my new work place and meeting my new colleagues (few of which ‘might’ turn into friends over a period of time), I cant help but miss my ex-colleagues in various assignments – few I worked with and for a few of them, and few who were simply a part of the assignment. They were open and willing to explore ideas together, inherently curious people, and ones who didn’t grade our relationship on some hierarchical scale but based on our shared interests. The fact that my work was recognized by the client or my superiors is more a testament to the amazing social talent I was surrounded by…than anything else.

When we embark on a new assignment, do we not wonder who do we want on our team or how can we build teams and networks where everyone wins and grows? If only we had Networkers, Connectors, People Happy to Refer You First – With No Expectations, People Who Believe in You…Willing to Help You and Help You with Ideas…people who believe in paying it forward always end up being your best business relationship.

I have and will come across various people in my work – and yes, I might love to run away from a few of them…. but these are colleagues whom I have to engage with so heading for the nearest door really isn’t an option. Because we have:

Narcissists who are closers that go big or go home. They “build up their press because they concentrate on success instead of failure. It’s the fundamental psychology of a sales professional. I feel they serve a purpose on a sales team.

The Name Dropper which could be a sub category of the Narcissist or Status Claimer. Yes, networking is about who they know, but I don’t need a constant reminder of who they know and whose yacht they were on this weekend.

Griller who ask lots and lots of questions because they dig stories, details, emotions, insight, histories, opinions, convictions, the whole gamut. They aren’t necessarily bad…I think the person I run from is the person who asks and asks, but turns into a clam when it’s their turn to spill it. They are usually so focussed on asking the next question that they are almost never listening, unless it conforms with their world view.

Ahh-I-know-it-all who has learned everything they need to know and try to make everything fit into that paradigm.

I-Me-Myself who are one-way-street types who will run over you, put you down, stifle you, discourage you, and never treat you with respect – for sure never love you.

Elevator Pitch Junkies who live by their 20-seconds pitch on everything you ever needed to know about life and everything. They want everything in a nice neat package, injected intravenously in their empty heads so that they can go around repeating the mantra like a parrot.

Yes Man/Woman who follow come what may and never question. They are helpful for getting stuff done but can lead an organisation down the path to ruin if no one else is there to be critical. They are positive but destructive.

Glory-hunters who find delegation difficult or who cherry-pick parts from roles for maximum visibility. It’s not a very inclusive or team-spirited attitude

Chronic Dictators who never contribute to the positive team energy/ creativity required to successfully complete any projects but constantly provide input on how to get the job done (a talking head).

The Grandstander who will jump on a topic and them dominate the conversation trying to establish themselves as the subject-matter expert. Unfortunately, it results in a one-sided conversation and does little to forward a true discussion on the issue.

Oh-Wellers who want to be a part of the process, but have no real desire for one outcome vs. another…who act like they’re all in, but bail when things get rough or aren’t going well.

Including the ones that give you 15 arguments why not to do something rather than one contribution on how to succeed at it… Or the ones that grill your ideas to then go on and still them for personal advancement… Both are actually similar they just want to justify their existence and salaries it’s all about toxic individual survival… What they are missing is that a company is like a rugby team… ultimately no one cares or remember how many tackles or turn overs you made or if you scored they remember you were part of the team that won the championship.

The Dodger who don’t return calls or emails. They don’t actively participate in meetings/try to avoid attending them at all. They avoid having to deliver anything. Anything they couldn’t avoid being responsible for – never gets delivered because they were waiting on someone else to do something/they didn’t realise there was a time line/the sky was too blue (always a reason for non delivery). Claim they are always busy but can’t actually explain their workload. They just cruise through the day in the office and god forbid you need something off them.

How about working with too many “Chiefs and not enough Indians“, people who know the answer before you even finish your statement. Or the ones when you try to explain your situation and they say its ok, and havent even let you put your two cents in.

Just including the ‘non-learners‘ who live online but don’t tap into its vast knowledge base, either from poor research skills, arrogance or plain laziness.

The ones I am uncomfortable with the most are the ones who pull out their cell phones and call/receive call right in the middle of a conversation. While I have allowed it to propagate, stunned by its impeccable crassness, in the solace of knowing that manners are the property of a gentleman and a lady, while their lack – the hallmark of an upstart.

Work and life are blessed with the contribution from many personalities and nuances, these nuances and personalities in turn help us develop our skills further and polish our intelligent coping strategies, I look at it as an opportunity to find a different way to engage, almost like finding a new way home. While we may rule these people out temporarily, we should not rule them out permanently. In worst cases, if you are unable to accommodate the person in the team, let go the people off the bus freeing them to be great elsewhere, by not holding them back.

The truth is, as long as man is ruling planet “earth”, it’s never going to be perfect and that’s ever so evident in the workplace. Ah geez, what if I’m guilty of all of these? Can I run away from myself? Work seems to work better when the basics of being a human are practiced. Could most problems be solved that simply? How can something so simple, be so difficult sometimes?

Not always can you pick who you work with and certainly not easy to run from all those that you just have to work with – but what the heck, who said life was easy. Just as each of us (raising my hand virtually) have made our set of mistakes, so do others, and so we leave the door open that if someone changes, they can be welcomes back. We just have to try to find a way through with these people – try to find their strengths, draw them out of the behaviour that we don’t need. I find that most people step up when they are surrounded by curious, positive, informed folks.

As a wise man said, “In my life so far, I have discovered that there are really only two kinds of people: those who are for you, and those who are against you. Learn to recognize them, for they are often and easily mistaken for each other.“

The important “piece of the puzzle” is to be able to lead and inspire while honoring people’s differences. Good rule of thumb in all endeavors: you are only as smart as the people you surround yourself with… Sometimes referred to as a “team”.